Narcissism is the pattern of traits and behaviors
which involve infatuation and obsession with one's self
The Self is a key construct in several schools of Psychology. Usages differ between theorists and fields of study, but in general, the self refers to the conscious, reflective personality of an individual. The study of the self involves significant methodological problems, especially concerning consciousness. Some of these are taken up in philosophy of mind and metaphysics.
Perhaps the best-known account of the self is Freud's theory of the
tri-partite function of the self, involving ego, id and superego processes.
Many theorists, however, would bring under the heading of the self only what
Freud regarded as ego processes.
. and ruthless pursuit of one's gratification, dominance For the meaning of the word "dominance" in
genetics, please see Dominance relationship
Dominance in the context of biology
and anthropology is the state of having high social status relative to other
individuals, who react submissively to dominant individuals. The opposite of
dominance is submissiveness.
Dominance or domination, in terms of BDSM, refers to taking control
of a person or situation through the usage of some means (physical, mental,
financial, and so forth), or to exercise this power. A person who exercises
this power on a regular basis, outside of BDSM scenes, is called a Dominant;
the gender-specific titles being Dom for a man, Domme or Dominatrix for a
woman. See domination and submission for more information.
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and ambition Ambition could refer to one of the following:
- Motivation, especially to improve a situation.
- One of Bill Gothard's Forty-nine charismatic virtues
- A name used in
In psychology, self-esteem or self-worth is to a person's self-image at an emotional level; circumventing reason and logic. The term differs from ego in that the ego is a more artificial aspect; one can remain highly egotistical, while underneath has very low self-esteem. The maintenance of a healthy degree of self-esteem is a central task within psychotherapy, where patients often suffer from excess degrees of self-criticism, hampering their ability to function.
. Paradoxically, the narcissist's self-esteem is lower. For
the narcissist, self-worth comes from the belief that he/she is superior to
his/her peers; it is not enough to be "okay" or "pretty
good," the narcissist can only feel worthwhile by being the best. It is
this struggle of the narcissist to convince others of his/her superiority that
results in the outward appearance of high self-esteem, and the inadequacy that
the narcissist feels from not being the absolute best that results in the
narcissist's low self-esteem. In addition to fragile, exaggerated self-esteem,
narcissists are also characterized by a lack of empathy Empathy is awareness of the thoughts, feelings, or states of
mind of others, perhaps by means of some degree of vicarious experience of
others' feelings or mental states. When we see another human or animal
experiencing something positive or negative, we instinctively identify with the
other. One must be careful not to confuse empathy with sympathy.
Empathy has to be learned at a young age. Not all humans have empathy: the
lacking of all forms of empathy is called psychopathy (see also antisocial
personality disorder). Autism and Asperger's syndrome are often falsely
associated with empathy disorders, due to developmental differences in
the ways emotions are experienced and expressed.
.
, that is, a lack of sensitivity to the feelings of others.
These traits In biology, a trait or character is a genetically
inherited feature of an organism. A synonym for trait is phenotype.
Definition of a Trait
A trait may be any single feature or
quantifiable measurement of an organism. However, the most useful traits for
genetic analysis are present in different forms in different individuals.
A visible trait is the final product of many molecular and biochemical
processes. In most cases, information starts with DNA travelling to RNA and
finally to protein (ultimately affecting organism structure and function). This
is the Central Dogma of molecular biology as stated by Francis Crick.
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are present in most people to some degree but severe
narcissism may warrant a diagnosis of narcissistic
personality disorder Narcissistic Personality Disorder
(NPD) is a personality disorder that is characterized by extreme feelings of
self-importance, a high need for admiration, and a lack of empathy. NPD can be
considered as a pathological form of narcissism. It is estimated that 0.7-1% of
the general population are afflicted with NPD. Most people with NPD (50-75%,
according to the DSM) are men.
Clinical experience
The term narcissism was coined by Sigmund Freud
Sigmund Freud (May 6, 1856 - September 23, 1939) was an Austrian
neurologist and the founder of the psychoanalytic school of psychology, a
movement that popularized the theory that unconscious motives control much
behavior. He became interested in hypnotism and how it could be used to help
the mentally ill. He later abandoned hypnotism in favor of free association and
dream analysis in developing what is now known as "the talking cure."
These became the core elements of psychoanalysis. Freud was especially
interested in what was then called hysteria and is now called conversion
syndrome.
In Greek mythology, a nymph is any member of a large class of female
nature spirits, sometimes bound to a particular location or landform. Nymphs
often accompanied various gods and goddesses and were the frequent target of
lusty satyrs.
Echo In Greek mythology, Echo (Greek Ηχω) was an Oread who had the job
of talking incessantly to Hera, the Queen of the Gods, so that her husband,
Zeus, wouldn't get caught in his numerous affairs. According to some sources,
Hera caught on to Echo's trick and cursed her to only be able say what others
had just said--hence our modern word "echo".
Echo fell in love with a human named Narcissus but he loved only the image
of himself, reflected in water. Echo pined away with love for him but Narcissus
was unmoved. Gradually, Echo faded until nothing was left but her voice,
repeating the last words of others. Narcissus turned into a daffodil.
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. As a punishment, he was doomed to fall in love with his own reflection in a pool of water. Unable to consummate his love, Narcissus pined away and changed into the flower that bears his name.
Other major psychiatrists who contributed to the theory are Melanie Klein
Melanie Klein, (1882 - 1960), Austrian psychotherapist, built on the work of Sigmund Freud, particularly in the area of child psychology. Also one of the theoretical co-founders of object relations theory.
Invited by Ernest Jones, Melanie Klein came to
Klein's theoretical work gradually centred on a highly speculative
hypothesis propounded by Sigmund Freud, which stated that life may be an
anomaly, i.e., that it is drawn toward an inorganic state, and therefore, in an
unspecified sense, contains an instinct to die. In psychological terms, Eros,
the sustaining and uniting principle of life, is thereby postulated to have a
companion force, Thanatos, which seeks to terminate and disintegrate life.
, Karen Horney Karen Horney (pronounced "Horn-eye") was a
Freudian psychoanalyst (often classified as "neo-Freudian").
Like Freud, she placed great importance on childhood experiences. However,
she was more concerned with social relationships, especially with parents,
whereas Freud emphasized internal conflicts. She created the concept of
basic anxiety, a child's insecurity and doubt when a parent is
indifferent, unloving, or disparaging. This anxiety, according to Horney,
leads the child to a basic hostility towards his or her parents. The child may
then become neurotic as an adult.
, Heinz Kohut, Otto F.
Kernberg Otto F. Kernberg, was born in
Pathological narcissism
Whether narcissism and its pathology are the results of genetic programming
(see Anthony Benis and others) or of dysfunctional families and faulty
upbringing or of anomic Anomie, in contemporary English means the absence of any
kind of rule, law, principle or order.
It comes from the Greek an-: against or absence, and nomos:
law). This term was used by the Greeks to define anything or anyone who was
against the rules or a condition where the present laws were not applied
(illegitimacy, unlawfulness). The contemporary English understanding
societies and disruptive socialization In psychology, socialization is the process by which
children and others adopt the behavior patterns of the culture that surrounds
them.
Sociologists may distinguish:
- primary socialization: the upbringing of a dependent infant, the initiation into a mother-tongue
- secondary socialization: training for specialist roles in society through education systems and social groups by building on the basic assumed primary socialization.
processes - is still an unresolved debate.
Psychoanalysis is the revelation of unconscious relations, systematically
through an associative process. The fundamental subject matter of
psychoanalysis is the unconscious patterns of life revealed through the
analysand's (the patient's) free associations. The analyst's goal is to help
liberate the analysand from unexamined or unconscious barriers of transference
and resistance, that is, past patterns of relatedness that are no longer
serviceable or that inhibit freedom.
the belief that we are all narcissistic at an early stage of our lives. As infants and toddlers, we all feel that we are the centre of the Universe, the most important, omnipotent and omniscient beings.
At that phase of our development, our parents are perceived by us to be mythical
A myth is often thought to be a lesson in story form which has deep
explanatory or symbolic resonance for preliterate cultures, who preserve and
cherish the wisdom of their elders through oral traditions by the use of
skilled storytellers. Its truth is larger than the advent of critical history
which may, or may figures, immortal and awesomely powerful, there solely
to cater to our needs, to protect and nourish us.
The Self is a key construct in several schools of Psychology. Usages differ between theorists and fields of study, but in general, the self refers to the conscious, reflective personality of an individual. The study of the self involves significant methodological problems, especially concerning consciousness. Some of these are taken up in philosophy of mind and metaphysics.
Perhaps the best-known account of the self is Freud's theory of the tri-partite
function of the self, involving ego, id and superego processes. Many
theorists, however, would bring under the heading of the self only what Freud
regarded as ego processes.
and others are viewed immaturely, as idealizations. This, in the psychodynamic
models, is called the phase of "primary" narcissism.
Inevitably, the inexorable processes and conflicts of life erode these perceptions and reduce the ideal into the real.
Adaptation is a process of disillusionment. If this process is abrupt,
inconsistent, unpredictable, capricious, arbitrary and intense - the injuries
sustained by the infant's tender, budding, self-esteem, are severe and, often,
irreversible. Moreover, the empathic support of our caretakers (the Primary
Objects, the parents) is crucial. In its absence, our sense of self-worth and self-esteem
Self-Esteem is the second single by a
In psychology, self-esteem or self-worth
is to a person's self-image at an emotional level; circumventing reason and
logic. The term differs from ego in that the ego is a more artificial aspect;
one can remain highly egotistical, while underneath have very low self-esteem.
The maintenance of a healthy degree of self-esteem is a central task within
psychotherapy, where patients often suffer from excess degrees of
self-criticism, hampering their ability to function.
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information. in adulthood tends to
fluctuate, to alternate between over-valuation (idealization) and devaluation
of both Self and others. Narcissistic adults are widely thought to be the
result of bitter disappointment, of radical disillusionment in the significant
others in their infancy. Healthy adults accept their self-limitations (the
boundaries and limitations of their selves). They accept disappointments,
setbacks, failures, criticism and disillusionment with grace and tolerance.
Their self-esteem is constant and positive, not substantially affected by
outside events, no matter how severe.
Schools of thought
The common view is that we go through the stages of a linear
development. We are propelled forward by forces. Various psychoanalytic and
psychodynamic models incorporate the libido Libido in its common usage means sexual desire, however more
technical definitions, such as found in the work of Carl Jung, are more
general, referring to libido as the free creative, or psychic, energy an
individual has to put toward personal development, or individuation.
Sigmund Freud introduced the term and pointed out that libido is the instinctual energy or force that can come into conflict with the conventions of civilized behavior. It is the need to conform to society and control the libido, contained in what Freud defined as the Id, that leads to tension and disturbance in both society and the individual. This disturbance Freud labelled neurosis.
In Greek mythology, Thanatos
(θάνατος, "death") was the personification of death (Roman
equivalent:
Viktor Emil Frankl, M.D., Ph.D., (March 26, 1905 - September 2, 1997)
was a Vienna-born neurologist and psychiatrist. Frankl was the founder of
logotherapy and Existential Analysis, the "
Alfred Adler (February 7, 1870 - May
28, 1937) was an Austrian medical doctor and psychologist, founder of the
school of individual psychology. Born in
Harry
Stack Sullivan is American psychiatrist born February 21, 1892 in
Sullivan was a child of Irish immigrants and alledgledy grew up in an anti-Catholic town. This resulted in social isolation which might have been the incitive for his later interest in psychiatry.
Neuroscience
is a field of study which deals with the structure, function, development,
genetics, biochemistry, physiology, pharmacology and pathology of the nervous
system. The study of behavior and learning is also a division of neuroscience.
The biological study of the human brain is an interdisciplinary field which involves many levels of study, from the molecular level through the cellular level (individual neurons), the level of relatively small assemblies of neurons like cortical columns, that of larger subsystems like that which subserves visual perception, up to large systems like the cerebral cortex or the cerebellum, and at the highest level the nervous system as a whole
Neurochemistry is a branch of neuroscience that is
heavily devoted to the study of neurochemicals. A neurochemical is an organic
molecule that participates in neural activity. This term is often used to refer
to neurotransmitters and other molecules such as neuro-active drugs that
influence neuron function.
Examples of neurochemicals
- The neuropeptide oxytocin. Oxytocin
These thought systems differ on many issues. Some postulate the cessation of personal development during childhood, others - during adolescence. Yet others claim that development is a process which continues throughout a person's life. Common to all these schools of thought are the mechanics and dynamics of the psychic process. Forces - inner or external - facilitate the development of the individual. When an obstacle to development is encountered, development is stunted or arrested - but not for long. A distorted pattern of development, a bypass appears. Hence, psychopathological conditions are the outcomes of disturbed growth.
Humans can be compared to trees. When a tree encounters a physical obstacle to its growth - its branches or roots curl around it. Yet, deformed and ugly, they still reach their destination, however late and partially.
Psychopathology is a term which refers to either
- the study of mental illness or mental distress
- the manifestation of behaviours and experiences which may be indicative of mental illness or psychological impairment.
It is also the name of an academic journal that specialises in the understanding and classification of mental illness in clinical psychiatry.
Psychopathology as the study of mental illness
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information. are adaptive mechanisms. They
allow the individual to continue to grow around the disturbing factor. The personality twists
and turns, deforms itself, is transformed - until it reaches a functional
equilibrium, which is not too ego-dystonic. There it
settles down and continues its more or less linear pattern of growth. But the thrust
is clear: onwards. Adaptation above all, growth at any price, straight or
deformed. The forces of life (as expressed in the development of the
personality) are stronger than any hindrance. The roots of trees crack mighty
rocks, microbes live in the most poisonous surroundings - humans form the
personality structure which is best suited to their needs and outside
constraints. Such a personality structure may be abnormal - but it has
triumphed in the delicate task of successful adaptation.
Narcissistic regression and the formation of secondary narcissism
Research shows that (Gunderson-Ronningstam, 1996) when an individual (at any age) encounters an obstacle to his orderly progression from one stage of development to another - he retreats to his infantile-Narcissistic phase rather than circumvent the hindrance. The process is three-stepped:
(1) The person encounters an obstacle, (2) The person regresses to the primary Narcissistic phase, and (3) The person recuperates and moves back from the primary Narcissistic phase to attack the obstacle again.
While in step (2), the person displays childish, immature behaviours.
He feels that he is omnipotent and misjudges his power and the power of his opponents and opposition. He underestimates challenges facing him and pretends to be "Mr. Know-All". His sensitivity to the needs and emotions of others and his ability to empathize with them deteriorates sharply. He becomes intolerably haughty and arrogant, with sadistic and paranoid tendencies. Above all, he then seeks unconditional admiration, even when he does not deserve it.
He is preoccupied with fantastic, magical, thinking and daydreams his life away.
He tends to exploit others, to envy them, to be edgy and explode with unexplained rage. A person undergoing a psychological development crisis brought on by an insurmountable obstacle - will, mostly, revert to excessive and compulsive behaviour patterns. To put it succinctly: whenever we experience a major life crisis (which hinders our personal growth and threatens it) - we suffer from a mild and transient form of the narcissistic personality disorder (NPD).
This fantasy world, full of falsity and feelings hurt, serves as a springboard. It is from there that the individual can resume his progress towards the next stage of personal growth. Faced with the same obstacle, he feels (falsely) sufficiently potent to ignore it or to attack it. In most cases, success is guaranteed by the very unrealistic assessment of the fortitude and magnitude of the obstacle. The main function of the episodic NPD is this: to encourage the individual to engage in magical thinking, to wish the problem away or to enchant it or to tackle and overcome it from a position of omnipotence.
A structural abnormality of personality arises only when recurrent attacks
fail constantly and consistently to eliminate the obstacle, or to overcome the
hindrance - especially if this failure happens during the formative years (0-4
years of age). The contrast between the fantastic world (temporarily) occupied
by the individual and the real world in which he keeps being frustrated - is
too acute to countenance for long. The dissonance gives rise to the unconscious
"decision" to go on living in the world of fantasy, grandiosity and
entitlement. It is better to feel special than to feel inadequate. It is better
to be omnipotent than psychologically impotent. To (ab)use others is preferable
to being (ab)used by them. In short: it is better to remain a pathological
Narcissist than to face the harsh unyielding realities.
This phase of permanent narcissism is often called "secondary" narcissism.
The dynamics of narcissism
Narcissism and its pathologies are commonly tackled by the application of the various psychodynamic models.
The mother-child bond
According to these models, parents ("Primary
Objects") and, more specifically, mothers are the first agents of
socialization. It is through his mother that the child explores the most
important questions, the answers to which will shape his entire life. How
loved one is, how lovable, how independent can one become, how guilty one
should feel for wanting to become autonomous, how predictable is the world, how
much abuse should one expect in life and so on. The mother, to the infant, is
not only an object of dependence (survival is at stake), love and adoration. It
is a representation of the Universe itself. It is through her that the child
first exercises his senses: the tactile, the olfactory, and the visual.
Later on, she is the subject of his nascent sexual cravings (if the child is a male) - a diffuse sense of wanting to merge, physically, as well as spiritually. This object of love is idealized and internalized and becomes part of our conscience ("superego" in the psychoanalytic model).
Growing up (attaining maturity and adulthood) entails the gradual
detachment from the mother. At first, the child begins to shape a more
realistic view of her and incorporates the mother's shortcomings and
disadvantages in this modified version. The more ideal, less realistic and
earlier picture of the mother is stored and becomes part of the child's psyche.
The later, less cheerful, more realistic view enables the infant to define his
own identity and gender identity and to "go out to the world". Partly
abandoning mother is the key to an independent exploration of the world,
to personal autonomy and to a strong sense of self. Resolving the sexual
complex and the resulting conflict of being attracted to a forbidden figure -
is the second, determining step. The (male) child must realize that his mother
is "off-limits" to him sexually (and emotionally, or psychosexually)
and that she "belongs" to his father. He must thereafter choose to
imitate his father in order to win, in the future, someone like his mother.
This is an oversimplified description of the very intricate psychodynamic
processes involved - but this, still, is the gist of it all. The third (and
final) stage of letting go of the mother should be reached during the delicate
period of adolescence. The person then seriously ventures out and, finally,
builds and secures his own universe, replete and complete with a new
"mother-lover". If any of these phases is thwarted - the process of
differentiation is not successfully completed, no autonomy or coherent self
is achieved and dependence and "infantilism" characterize the person.
What determines the success or failure of these developments in one's personal history? Mostly, the mother herself. If she does not "let go" - the child will not go. If the mother herself is the dependent, Narcissistic type - the growth prospects of the child are, indeed, dim.
There are numerous mechanisms, which mothers use to ensure the continued presence and emotional dependence of their offspring (of both sexes).
The mother can cast herself in the role of the eternal victim, a sacrificial figure, who dedicated her life to the child (with the implicit or explicit proviso of reciprocity: that the child will dedicate his life to her).
Another strategy is to treat the child as an extension of the mother or, conversely, to treat herself as an extension of the child. Yet another tactic is to create a situation of "folie à deux" (the mother and child united against external threats), or an atmosphere suffused with sexual and erotic insinuations, leading to an illicit psychosexual bonding between mother and child. In the latter case, the adult's ability to interact with members of the opposite sex is gravely impaired and the mother is perceived as envious of any feminine influence other than hers. The mother will criticize the women in her offspring's life pretending to do so in order to protect him from dangerous liaisons or from ones which are "beneath him" ("you deserve more"). Other mothers exaggerate their neediness: they emphasize their financial dependence and lack of resources, their health problems, their emotional barrenness without the soothing presence of the child, their need to be protected against this or that (mostly imaginary) enemy. The latter tactic is a pernicious variant of the guilt-related species. Guilt is a prime mover in the perverted relationships of such mothers and their children.
Primitive defence mechanisms
"When the habitual narcissistic gratifications that come from being adored, given special treatment, and admiring the self are threatened, the results may be depression, hypochondriasis, anxiety, shame, self destructiveness, or rage directed toward any other person who can be blamed for the troubled situation. The child can learn to avoid these painful emotional states by acquiring a narcissistic mode of information processing. Such learning may be by trial-and-error methods, or it may be internalized by identification with parental modes of dealing with stressful information."
(Jon Mardi Horowitz - "Stress Response Syndromes: PTSD, Grief, and Adjustment Disorders", Third Edition)
Narcissism is fundamentally an advanced version of the splitting defense mechanism. The Narcissist cannot regard humans, situations, entities (political parties, countries, races, his workplace) as a compound of good and bad elements. He is an "all or nothing" primitive "machine" (a common self metaphor among narcissists). He either idealizes his object - or devalues it. The object is either all good or all bad. The bad attributes are always projected, displaced, or otherwise externalized. The good ones are internalized in order to support the inflated ("grandiose") self-concepts of the narcissist and his grandiose fantasies - and to avoid the pain of deflation and disillusionment. The Narcissist's earnestness and his (apparent) sincerity make people wonder whether he is simply detached from reality, unable to appraise it properly - or willingly and knowingly distorts reality and reinterprets it, subjecting it to his self-imposed censorship. It would seem that the Narcissist is dimly aware of the implausibility of his own constructions. He has not lost touch with reality.
He is just less scrupulous in reshaping it, remolding its curvatures and ignoring the uncomfortable angles.
"The disguises are accomplished by shifting meanings and using exaggeration and minimization of bits of reality as a nidus for fantasy elaboration.
The narcissistic personality is
especially vulnerable to regression to damaged or defective self-concepts on
the occasions of loss of those who have functioned as self-objects. When
developmeeted arrested narcissist is faced with such stress events as
criticism, withdrawal of praise, or humiliation, the information involved may
be denied, disavowed, negated, or shifted in meaning to prevent a reactive
state of rage, depression, or shame."
(Jon Mardi Horowitz - ibid)
The second mechanism which the narcissist employes is the active pursuit of "Narcisstic Supply". The Narcissist actively seeks to furnish himself with an endless supply of admiration, adulation, affirmation and attention.As opposed to common opinion (which infiltrated literature) - the narcissist is content to have ANY kind of attention. If fame cannot be had - infamy and notoriety will do. The narcissist is obsessed with the obtaining of narcissistic supply, he is addicted to it. His behavior in its pursuit is impulsive.
"The hazard is not simply guilt because ideals have not been met. Rather, any loss of a good and coherent self-feeling is associated with intensely experienced emotions such as shame and depression, plus an anguished sense of helplessness and disorientation. To prevent this state, the narcissistic personality slides the meanings of events in order to place the self in a better light. What is good is labeled as being of the self (internalized) Those qualities that are undesirable are excluded from the self by denial of their existence, disavowal of related attitudes, externalization, and negation of recent self-expressions. Persons who function as accessories to the self may also be idealized by exaggeration of their attributes. Those who counter the self are depreciated; ambiguous attributions of blame and a tendency to self-righteous rage states are a conspicuous aspect of this pattern.
Such fluid shifts in meanings permit the narcissistic personality to maintain apparent logical consistency while minimizing evil or weakness and exaggerating innocence or control. As part of these maneuvers, the narcissistic personality may assume attitudes of contemptuous superiority toward others, emotional coldness, or even desperately charming approaches to idealized figures."
(Jon Mardi Horwitz, ibid)
Freud versus Jung
Sigmund Freud (1856-1939) is credited with the promulgation and presentation of a first coherent theory of narcissism. He described transitions from subject-directed libido to object-directed libido through the intermediation and agency of the parents. To be healthy and functional, the transitions must be smooth and unperturbed. Neuroses are the results of such perturbations.
Freud conceived of each stage as the default (or fallback) of the next one.
Thus, if a child reaches out to his objects of desire and fails to attract their love and attention - the child will regress to the previous phase, to the narcissistic phase. The first occurrence of narcissism is adaptive.
It "trains" the child to love an object. It ensures gratification through availability, predictability and permanence. But regressing to "secondary narcissism" is mal-adaptive. It is an indication of failure to direct the libido to the "right" targets (to objects, such as the child's parents).
If this pattern of regression persists and prevails, a "narcissistic
neurosis" is formed. The narcissist stimulates his self habitually in
order to derive pleasure and gratification. He prefers this mode of deriving
gratification to others. He is "lazy" because he takes the
"easy" route of resorting to his self and reinvesting his libidinal
resources "in-house" rather than making an effort (and risking failure)
to seek out libidinal objects other than his self. The narcissist prefers
fantasyland to reality, grandiose self-conception to realistic appraisal,
masturbation and sexual fantasies to mature adult sex and daydreaming to real
life achievements.
Carl Gustav Jung (1875-1961) had a mental picture of the psyche as a giant warehouse of archetypes (the conscious representations of adaptive behaviors).
Fantasies to him were just a way of accessing these archetypes and releasing them.
Almost by definition, regression cannot be entertained by Jungian psychology.
Any reversion to earlier phases of mental life, to earlier coping strategies, to earlier choices - in other words, any default - is interpreted as simply the psyche's way of using yet another, hitherto untapped, adaptation strategy.
Regressions are compensatory processes intended to enhance adaptation and not methods of obtaining or securing a steady flow of gratification.
Actually, there is little difference between Freud and his disciple turned-heretic, Jung. They seem to be sparring in a linguistic field.
In other words, it is a matter of semantics. When libido investment in objects (esp. the Primary Object) fails to produce gratification, maladaptation results. This is dangerous. A default option is activated: secondary narcissism. This default enhances adaptation, it is functional and adaptive and triggers adaptive behaviors. As a by-product, it secures gratification.
We are gratified when we are at peace with our model of our environment.
We are at such peace when we exert reasonable control over our environment, i.e., when our behaviors are adaptive. The compensatory process has TWO results: enhanced adaptation and inevitable gratification.
Perhaps the more serious division between them is with regards to introversion. Freud regards introversion as an instrument in the service of a pathology (introversion is indispensable to narcissism, as opposed to extroversion which is a necessary condition for libidinal object-orientation).
As opposed to Freud, Jung regards introversion as a useful tool in the service of the endless psychic quest for adaptation strategies (narcissism being one such strategy). The Jungian adaptation repertoire does not discriminate against narcissism. To Jung it is as legitimate a choice as any. But even Jung acknowledged that the very need to look for a new adaptation strategy means that adaptation has failed. In other words, the search itself is indicative of a pathological state of affairs. It does seem that introversion per se IS NOT pathological (because no psychological mechanism is pathological PER SE). Only the use made of it CAN be pathological.
One would tend to agree with Freud, though, that when introversion becomes a permanent feature of the psychic landscape of a person - it facilitates pathological narcissism.
Jung distinguished introverts (those who habitually concentrate on their selves rather than on outside objects) from extroverts (the convese preference). Not only was introversion a totally normal and natural function in childhood, it remains normal and natural even if it predominates the mental life.
Yet, the habitual and predominant focussing of attention upon one's self,
to the exclusion of others is THE definition of pathological narcissism.
What differentiates the pathological from the normal is degree.
Pathological narcissism is ex-clusive and all-pervasive.
Other forms of narcissism are not. So, although there is no healthy state of habitual, predominant introversion, it remains a question of form and degree of introversion. Often a healthy, adaptive mechanism goes awry. When it does, as Jung himself recognized, neuroses form.
Freud regards Narcissism as a POINT while Jung regards it as a CONTINUUM (from health to sickness).
Kohut's Approach
In a way, Heinz Kohut took Jung a step further. He said that pathological narcissism is not the result of excessive narcissism, libido or aggression.
It is the result of defective, deformed or incomplete narcissistic (self) structures. Kohut postulated the existence of core constructs which he named: the Grandiose Exhibitionistic Self and the Idealized Parent Imago (see below). Children entertain notions of greatness (primitive or naïve grandiosity) mingled with magical thinking, feelings of omnipotence and omniscience and a belief in their immunity to the consequences of their actions. These elements and the child's feelings regarding its parents (which are also painted by it with a brush of omnipotence and grandiosity) - coagulate and form these constructs.
The child's feelings towards its parents are reactions to their responses
(affirmation, buffering, modulation or disapproval, punisment, even abuse).
These responses help maintain the self-structures. Without the appropriate responses, grandiosity, for instance, cannot be transformed into adult ambitions and ideals.
To Kohut, grandiosity and idealization were positive childhood development mechanisms. Even their reappearance in transference should not be considered a pathological narcissistic regression.
In his "Chicago Lectures 1972-1976" he says:
"You see, the actual issue is really a simple one . . . a simple change in classical [Freudian] theory, which states that auto-erotism develops into narcissism and that narcissism develops into object love ... there is a contrast and opposition between narcissism and object love. The[forward] movement toward maturation was toward object love.
The movement from object love toward narcissism is a [backward]regressive movement toward a fixation point. To my mind [this] viewpoint is a theory built into a nonscientific value judgment ... that has nothing to do with developmental psychology [pp.277-278].
Kohut's contention is nothing less than revolutionary. He says that narcissism (subject-love) and object-love coexist and interact throughout life. True, they wear different guises with age and maturation - but they always cohabitate.
Kohut: "It is not that the self-experiences are given up and replaced by... a more mature or developmentally more advanced experience of objects."
This dichotomy inevitably led to a dichotomy of disorders. Kohut agreed with Freud that neuroses are conglomerates of defence mechanisms, formations, symptoms, and unconscious conflicts. He even did not object to identifying unresolved Oedipal conflicts (ungratified unconscious wishes and their objects) as the root of neuroses. But he identified a whole new class of disorders: the self-disorders. These were the result of the perturbed development of narcissism.
It was not a cosmetic or superficial distinction. Self disorders were the
results of childhood traumas very much different from Freud's Oedipal,
castration and other conflicts and fears. These are the traumas of the child
either not being "seen" (an existence, a presence which are not
affirmed by objects, especially the Primary Objects, the parents) - or being
regarded as an object for gratification or abuse. Such children develop to
become adults who are not sure that they do exist (lack a sense of
self-continuity) or that they are worth anything (lack of self-worth, or
self-esteem). They suffer depressions, as neurotics do.
But the source of these depressions is existential (a gnawing sensation of emptiness) as opposed to the "guilty-conscious" depressions of neurotics.
[Such depressions] "... are interrupted by rages because things are not going their way, because responses are not forthcoming in the way they expected and needed. Some of them may even search for conflict to relieve the pain and intense suffering of the poorly established self, the pain of the discontinuous, fragmenting, undercathected self of the child not seen or responded to as a unit of its own, not recognized as an independent self who wants to feel like somebody, who wants to go its own way (see Lecture 22).
They are individuals whose
disorders can be understood and treated only by taking into consideration the
formative experiences in childhood of the total body-mind-self and its
self-object environment - for instance, the experiences of joy of the total
self feeling confirmed, which leads to pride, self-esteem, zest, and
initiative; or the experiences of shame,loss of vitality, deadness, and
depression of the self who does not have the feeling of being included,
welcomed, and enjoyed."
(From: The Preface to the "Chicago Lectures 1972-1976 of H. Kohut, by: Paul and Marian Tolpin)
One note: "Constructs" or "Structures" are permanent psychological patterns.
This is not to say that they do not change - rather, that they are capable only of slow change. Kohut and his Self-psychology disciples believed that the only viable constructs are comprised of self-selfobject experiences and that these structures are lifelong ones.
Melanie Klein belived more in archaic drives, splitting defenses and archaic internal objects and part objects. Winnicott (and Balint and other, mainly British researchers) as well as other ego-psychologists thought that only infantile drive wishes and hallucinated oneness with archaic objects qualify as structures.
Karen Horney's contributions
Horney is
one of the precursors of the "Object Relations" school of
psychodynamics. She said that personality was shaped mostly by environmental
issues, social or cultural. She believed that relationships with other
humans in one's childhood determine both the shape and functioning of one's
personality. She expanded the psychoanalytic repertoire. She added needs to
drives. Where Freud believed in the exclusivity of the sex drive as an agent of
transformation (later he added other drives) - Horney believed that people
(children) needed to feel secure, to be loved, protected, emotionally nourished
and so on. She believed that the satisfaction of these needs or their
frustration early in chlildhood were as important a determinant as any drive. Society
was introduced through the parental door. Biology converged with social injunction to
yield human values such the nurturance of children.
Horney's great contribution was the concept of anxiety. Freudian anxiety was a rather primitive mechanism, a reaction to imaginary threats arising from early childhood sexual conflicts. Horney argued convincingly that anxiety is a primary reaction to the very dependence of the child on adults for his survival. Children are uncertain (of love, protection, nourishment, nurturance) - so they become anxious.
Defenses are developed to compensate for the intolerable and gradual
realization that adults are human: capricious, arbitrary, unpredictable,
non-dependable. Defenses provide both satisfaction and a sense of security. The
problem still exists, even as the anxiety does, but they are "one stage
removed". When the defenses are attacked or perceived to be attacked (such
as in therapy) - anxiety is reawakened.
Karen B. Wallant in "Treating Addictions and the Alienated Self":
"The capacity to be alone
develops out of the baby's ability to hold onto the internalization of his
mother, even during her absences. It is not just an image of mother that he
retains but also her loving devotion to him.
Thus, when alone, he can feel
confident and secure as he continues to infuse himself with her love. The
addict has had so few loving attachments in his life that when alone he is
returned to his detached, alienated self.
This feeling-state can be
compared to a young child's fear of monsters
So, the child learns to sacrifice a part of his autonomy, of WHO is is, in order to feel secure. Horney identified three neurotic strategies:
submission, aggression and detachment. The choice of strategy determines the type of personality, or rather of neurotic personality.
The submissive (or compliant) type is fake. He hides aggression beneath the facade of friendliness. The aggressive type is fake as well: at heart he is submissive. The detached neurotic withdraws from people.
This cannot be considered an adaptive strategy.
Horney's is an optimistic outlook. Because she believes biology is only ONE of the forces shaping our adulthood - culture and society being the predominant ones - she believes in reversibility and in the power of insight to heal. She believes that if an adult were to understand his problem (his anxiety) - he would be able to eliminate it altogether.
Other theoreticians are much more pessimistic and deteriministic.
They think that childhood trauma and abuse are pretty much impossible to
reprogramm, let alone erase. Modern brain research tends both to support this
sad view - and to offer some hope. The brain seems to be plastic. It is
physically impressed with abuse and trauma. But no one knows when this "window of plasticity"
shuts. It is conceivable that this plasticity continues well into adulthood and
that later "reprogramming"
(by loving, caring, compassionate and empathic experiences) can remold the
brain permanently. Yet others believe that the patient has to accept his
disorder as a given and work AROUND it rather than attack it directly.
Our disorders were adaptive and helped us to function. Their removal may not always be wise or necessary to attain a full and satisfactory life. additionally, we should not all conform to a mold and experience life the same. Idiosyncracies are a good thing, both on the individual level and on the level of the species.
The issue of separation and individuation
It is by no means universally accepted that children go through a phase of separation from their parents and through the consequent individuation.
Most psychodynamic theories (especially Klein, Mahler) are virtually constructed upon this foundation. The child is considered to be merged with his parents until it differentiates itself (through object-relations).
Attachment to and dependence on significant others is the result of the non-separateness of the child, go the classical psychodynamic/object-relations theories.
The Self is a construct (within a social context, some add), an
assimilation of the oft-imitated and idealized parents plus the internalization
of the way others perceive the child within social interactions. The self is,
therefore, an internalized reflection, an immitation, a series of internalized
idealizations. This sounds close to pathological narcissism. Perhaps
pathological narcissism is really a matter of quantity rather than of quality.
Childhood traumas and the development of the narcissistic personality
Traumas are inevitable. They are an inseparable part of life. But in early childhood - especially in the formative years of infancy (ages 0 to 4 years) they acquire an ominous aura, an evil, irreversible meaning.
No matter how innocuous the event and the surrounding circumstances the child's vivid imagination is likely to embed it in the framework of a highly idiosyncratic horror story.
Parents sometimes have to go away due to medical or economic conditions.
They may be too preoocupied to stay attuned at all times to the child's emotional needs. The family unit itself may be disintegrating with looming divorce or separation. The values of the parent may stand in radical contrast to those of society.
To adults, such traumas are very different to abuse. Verbal and psychological-emotional abuse or neglect are judged by us to be more serious "offenses". But this distinction is lost on the child. To him, all traumas are of equal standing, though their severity may differ together with the permanence of their emotional outcomes. Moreover, such abuse and neglect could well be the result of circumstances beyond the abusive or negligent parent's control. A parent can be physically or mentally handicapped, for instance. But the child cannot see this as a mitigating circumstance because he cannot appreciate it or even plainly understand the causal linkage.
Where even the child itself can tell the difference is with physical and
sexual abuse. Here is a cooperative effort at concealment, strong emotions of
shame and guilt, repressed to the point of producing anxiety and
"neurosis". Sometimes the child perceives even the injustice of
the situation, though it rarely dares to express its views, lest it be
abandoned by its abusers. This type of trauma which involves the
child actively or passively is qualitatively different and is bound to yield
long term effects such as dissociation or severe personality disorders.
These are violent, active traumas, not traumas by default and the reaction
is bound to be violent and active. The child becomes a reflection of its
dysfunctional family - it represses emotions, denies reality, resorts to
violence and escapism, disintegrates.
One of the coping strategies is to withdraw inwards, to seek gratification from a secure, reliable and permanently-available source: from the Self.
The child, fearful of further rejection and abuse, refrains from further interaction. Instead, it builds its own kingdom of grandiose fantasies wherein it is always loved and self-sufficient. This is the narcissistic strategy which leads to the development of a narcissistic personality.
The dysfunctional family
The family is the mainspring of support of every kind. It mobilizes psychological resources and alleviates emotional burdens. It allows for the sharing of tasks, provides material supplies coupled with cognitive training. It is the prime socialization agent and encourages the absorption of information, most of it useful and adaptive.
This division of labour between parents and children is vital both to development and to proper adaptation. The child must feel, in a functional family, that he can share his experiences without being defensive and that the feedback that he is likely to get will be open and unbiased. The only "bias" acceptable (because it is consistent with constant outside feedback) is the set of beliefs, values and goals that will finally be internalized via imitation and unconscious identification. So, the family is the first and the most important source of identity and of emotional support. It is a greenhouse wherein a child feels loved, accepted and secured - the prerequisites for the development of personal resources. On the material level, the family should provide the basic necessities (and, preferably, beyond), physical care and protection and refuge and shelter during crises.
The role of the mother (the Primary Object) has been often discussed and dissected. The father's part is mostly neglected, even in professional literature. However, recent research demonstrates his importance to the orderly and healthy development of the child.
He participates in the day to day care, is an intellectual catalyst, who encourages the child to develop his interests and to satisfy his curiosity through the manipulation of various instruments and games. He is a source of authority and discipline, a boundary setter, enforcing and encouraging positive behaviours and eliminating negative ones. He also provides emotional support and economic security, thus stabilizing the family unit.
Finally, he is the prime source of masculine orientation and identification to the male child - and gives warmth and love as a male to his daughter, without exceeding the socially permissible limits.
We can safely say that the Narcissist's family is as severely disturbed as he is. He is nothing but a reflection of its dysfunction. One or more (usually, many more) of the functions aforementioned are improperly carried out. The narcissist is the "emergent" pathology of his family, he embodies this pathology.
In a dysfunctional family, two important mechanisms operate:
First, the mechanism of self-deception: "I do have a relationship with my parents. It is my fault - the fault of my emotions, sensations, aggressions and passions - that this relationship is not working. It is, therefore, my responsibility to make amends. I will write a play in which I am both loved and punished. In this play, I will allocate roles to myself and to my parents. This way, everything will be fine and we will all be happy."
Second is the mechanism of over-valuation and devaluation. The dual roles of sadist and punished masochist (Superego and Ego in the psychoanalytic model), parent and child - permeate, then invade and then pervade all the interactions that a Narcissist has with his fellow humans.
He experiences a reversal of roles as his relationships progress.
At the beginning of every relationship he is the child in need of attention, approval and admiration. He becomes dependent.
Then, at the first sign of disapproval (real or imaginary), he is revealed as an avowed sadist, punishing and inflicting pain.
Otto Kernberg
Another school of psychology is represented by Otto Kernberg (1975, 1984, 1987).
Kernberg is a senior member of the "Object Relations" school in Psychology (Kohut, Kernberg, Klein, Winnicott).
Kernberg disagrees with Freud. He regards the division between an Object Libido (=energy directed at Objects, people in the immediate vicinity of the infant and who are meaningful to him) and a Narcissistic Libido (=energy directed at the Self as the most immediate and satisfying Object), which precedes it - as artificial.
Whether a Child develops a normal or a pathological form of Narcissism depends on the relations between the representations of the Self (=roughly, the image of the Self that he forms in his mind) and the representations of Objects (=roughly, the images of the Objects that he forms in his mind, based on all the information available to him, including emotional data). It is also dependent on the relationship between the representations of the Self and real, external, "objective"
Objects. Add to this instinctual conflicts related both to the Libido and to aggression (these very strong emotions give rise to strong conflicts in the child) and a comprehensive explanation concerning the formation of pathological Narcissism emerges.
Kernberg's concept of Self is closely related to Freud's concept of Ego.
The Self is dependent upon the unconscious, which exerts a constant influence on all mental functions. Pathological Narcissism, therefore, reflects a libidinal investment in a pathologically structured Self and not in a normal, integrative structure of the Self. The Narcissist suffers from a Self, which is devalued or fixated on aggression.
All object relations of such a Self are distorted: it detaches these relations from the real Objects (because they often hurt), it dissociates, represses, or projects them unto other objects. Narcissism is not merely a fixation on an early developmental stage. It is not confined to the failure to develop intra-psychic structures. It is an active, libidinal investment in a deformed structure of the Self.
The Narcissist and his family - an integrative framework
"For very young children, self-esteem is probably best thought to consist of deep feelings of being loved, accepted, and valued by significant others rather than of feelings derived from evaluating oneself against some external criteria, as in the case of older children. Indeed, the only criterion appropriate for accepting and loving a newborn or infant is that he or she has been born. The unconditional love and acceptance experienced in the first year or two of life lay the foundation for later self-esteem, and probably make it possible for the preschooler and older child to withstand occasional criticism and negative evaluations that usually accompany socialization into the larger community.
As children grow beyond the preschool years, the larger society imposes criteria and conditions upon love and acceptance. If the very early feelings of love and acceptance are deep enough, the child can most likely weather the rebuffs and scoldings of the later years without undue debilitation.
With increasing age, however, children begin to internalize criteria of self-worth and a sense of the standards to be attained on the criteria from the larger community they observe and in which they are beginning to participate. The issue of criteria of self-esteem is examined more closely below.
Cassidy's (1988) study of the relationship between self-esteem at age five and six years and the quality of early mother-child attachment supports Bowlby's theory that construction of the self is derived from early daily experience with attachment figures. The results of the study support Bowlby's conception of the process through which continuity in development occurs, and of the way early child-mother attachment continues to influence the child's conception and estimation of the self across many years. The working models of the self derived from early mother-child inter-action organize and help mold the child's environment "by seeking particular kinds of people and by eliciting particular behavior from them" (Cassidy, 1988, p.133). Cassidy points out that very young children have few means of learning about themselves other than through experience with attachment figures.
She suggests that if infants are valued and given comfort when required, they come to feel valuable; conversely, if they are neglected or rejected, they come to feel worthless and of little value.
In an examination of developmental considerations, Bednar, Wells, and Peterson (1989) suggest that feelings of competence and the self-esteem associated with them are enhanced in children when their parents provide an optimum mixture of acceptance, affection, rational limits and controls, and high expectations. In a similar way, teachers are likely to engender positive feelings when they provide such a combination of acceptance, limits, and meaningful and realistic expectations concerning behavior and effort (Lamborn et al., 1991). Similarly, teachers can provide contexts for such an optimum mixture of acceptance, limits, and meaningful effort in the course of project work as described by Katz and Chard (1989)."
(Distinctions between Self-Esteem and Narcissism: Implications for Practice - ERIC database)
Kohut, as we said, regarded Narcissism as the final product of the failing efforts of parents to cope with the needs of the child to idealize and to be grandiose (for instance, to be omnipotent).
Idealization is an important developmental path leading to Narcissism.
The child merges the idealized aspects of the images of the parent (Imago in Kohut's terminology) with those parts of the image of the parent which are cathected (infused) with object libido (=in which the child invests the energy that he reserves to Objects). This exerts a great and important influence on the re-internalization processes (=the processes in which the child re-introduced the Objects and their images into his mind) which are right for each of the successive phases.
Through these processes, two permanent nuclei of the personality are constructed:
a. The basic, neutralizing texture of the psyche and b. The ideal Superego
Both of them are characterized by an invested instinctual Narcissistic cathexis (=invested energy of self-love which is instinctual in its nature).
At first, the child idealizes his parents. As he grows, he begins to notice their shortcomings and vices. He withdraws part of the idealizing libido from the images of the parents, which is conducive to the natural development of the Superego. The Narcissistic sector in the child's psyche remains vulnerable throughout its development. This is largely true until the Child re-internalizes the ideal parent image.
Also, the very construction of the mental apparatus can be tampered with by traumatic deficiencies and by object losses right through the Oedipal period (and even in latency and in adolescence).
The same effect can be attributed to traumatic disappointment by objects.
Disturbances in childhood
Disturbances leading to the formation of NPD can be grouped thus:
Very early disturbances in the relationship with an ideal object
These lead to structural weakness of the personality which develops a deficient and/or dysfunctional stimuli filtering mechanism. The ability of the individual to maintain a basic Narcissistic homeostasis of the personality is damaged.
Such a person will suffer from diffusive narcissistic vulnerability.
A disturbance occurring later in life - but still pre-Oedipally
This will effect the pre-Oedipal formation of the basic fabric of the control, channeling and neutralizing of drives and urges. The nature of the disturbance has to be a traumatic encounter with the ideal object (such as a major disappointment). The symptomatic manifestation of this structural defect is the propensity to re - sexualize drive derivatives and internal and external conflicts either in the form of fantasies or in the form of deviant acts.
A disturbance formed in the Oedipal or even in the early latent phases
This inhibits the completion of the Superego idealization. This is especially true of a disappointment related to an ideal object of the late Pre-Oedipal and the Oedipal stages, where the partly idealized external parallel of the newly internalized object is traumatically destroyed.
Such a person will possess a set of values and standards - but he will forever look for ideal external figures from whom he will aspire to derive the affirmation and the leadership that his insufficiently idealized Superego cannot supply.
Everyone in the field agrees that a loss (real or perceived) at a critical junction in the psychological development of the Child - forces him to refer to himself for nurturing and for gratification. The Child ceases to trust others and his ability to develop object love or to idealize is hampered. He is constantly shadowed by the feeling that only he can satisfy his emotional needs and he regards.
The dysfunctional family
The Narcissist is born into a dysfunctional family. It is characterized by massive denials, both internal ("you do not have a real problem, you are only pretending") and external ("you must never tell the secrets of the family to anyone"). The whole family unit suffers from an affective dysfunction. It leads to affective and other personality disorders displayed by all the members of the family and ranging from obsessive - compulsive disorders to hypochondriasis and depression.
Such families are reclusive and autarchic. They actively reject and encourage the rejection of social contacts.
This inevitably leads to defective or partial socialization and differentiation and to problems with sexual identity.
This attitude is sometimes applied even to other members of the extended family. The nuclear family feels emotionally or financially deprived or threatened by them. It reacts with envy, rejection, self-isolation and rage.
Constant aggression and violence are permanent features of such families.
The violence can be from verbal (degradation, humiliation) and up to severe cases of psychological, physical and sexual abuse.
Trying to rationalize and intellectualize its unique position and to justify it, the family resorts to emphasizing logic, cost effectiveness, and calculations of feasibility. It is a transactional approach to life and it regards knowledge as an expression of superiority and as an advantage.
These families encourage excellence - mainly cerebral and academic - but only as means to an end. The end is usually highly Narcissistic ("to be famous/rich/to live well, etc.").
The narcissistic view of relationships
Some Narcissists react by creatively escaping into rich, imagined worlds in which they exercise total physical and emotional control over their environment. But all of them react by diverting libido, which should have been object-oriented to their own Self.
The source of all the Narcissist's problems is the foreboding sensation that human relationships invariably end in humiliation, betrayal and abandonment.
This belief is embedded in them during their very early childhood by their parents and by their experiences with peers.
But the Narcissist always generalizes. To him, any emotional interaction and any interaction with an emotional component is bound to end this way.
Getting attached to a place, a job, an asset, an idea, an initiative, a business, or a pleasure is bound to end as badly as getting attached to a human being. This is why the Narcissist avoids intimacy, real friendships, love, other emotions, commitment, attachment, dedication, perseverance, planning, emotional or other investment. Narcissists are unable to empathize and have little morale or conscience (which are only meaningful if there is a future to consider). They never develope a sense of security, or pleasure.
The Narcissist emotionally invests only in things which he feels that he is in full, unmitigated control of: himself and, at times, not even that.
Cultural considerations
The ethnopsychologist George Devereux ("Basic Problems of
Ethnopsychiatry",
Culture dictates what is to be repressed. Mental illness is either idiosyncratic (cultural directives are not followed and the individual is unique and schizophrenic) - or conformist, abiding by the cultural dictates of what is allowed and disallowed.
Our culture, according to Christopher Lasch teaches us to withdraw into ourselves when we are confronted with stressful situations. It is a vicious circle. One of the main stressors of modern society is alienation and a pervasive sense of isolation. The solution our culture offers us - to further withdraw - only exacerbates the problem.
Richard Sennett expounded on this theme in "The Fall of Public Man: On
the Social Psychology of Capitalism" (Vintage Books, 1978). One of the
chapters in Devereux's aforementioned tome is entitled "Schizophrenia: An
Ethnic Psychosis, or Schizophrenia without Tears". To him, the whole
C. Fred Alford (in "Narcissism: Socrates, the
"...withdrawal, emotional aloofness, hyporeactivity (emotional flatness), sex without emotional involvement, segmentation and partial involvement (lack of interest and commitment to things outside oneself), fixation on oral-stage issues, regression, infantilism and depersonalization. These, of course, are many of the same designations that Lasch employs to describe the culture of narcissism. Thus, it appears, that it is not misleading to equate narcissism with schizoid disorder." (page 19).
Narcissism and schizoid disorders - Melanie Klein
The first to seriously consider the similarity between Narcissistic and Schizoid pathologies was Melanie Klein. She broke with Freud in that she believed that we are born with a fragile, easily fragmentable, weak and unintegrated ego. The most primordial human fear is the fear of disintegration (death), according to Klein. Thus, the infant is forced to employ primitive defence mechanisms such as splitting, projection and introjection to cope with this fear (actually, with the result of aggression generated by the ego). The ego splits and projects this part (death, disintegration, aggression). It does the same with the life-related, constructive, integrative part of itself. The result of all these dynamics is to view the world as either "good" (satisfying, complying, responding, gratifying) - or bad (frustrating).
Klein called it the good and the bad "breasts". The child then proceeds to introject (internalize and assimilate) the good object while keeping out (=defending against) the bad objects. The good object becomes the nucleus of the forming ego. The bad object is felt as fragmented. But it is not gone, it is there.
This (the fact that the bad object is "out there", persecutory, threatening) - gives rise to the first schizoid defence mechanisms, foremost amongst them the mechanism of "projective identification" (so often employed by Narcissists). The infant projects parts of himself (his organs, his behaviours, his traits) unto the bad object. This is the Kleinian "paranoid-schizoid position". The ego is split. This is terrifying but it allows the baby to make a clear distinction between the "good object" (inside him) and the "bad object" (out there, split from him).
If this phase is not transcended the individual develops schizophrenia and a fragmentation of the self.
Integration of the objects and the depressive position
Around the third or fourth month of life, the infant realizes that the good and the bad objects are really facets of one and the same object.
He develops the depressive position. This depression (Klein believes that the two positions continue throughout life) is a reaction of fear and anxiety.
The infant feels guilty (at his own rage), anxious (lest his aggression harm the object and eliminate the source of good things). He experiences loss (of his own omnipotence since the object is outside his self). The infant wishes to erase the results of his own aggression by "making the object whole again". By recognizing the wholeness of other objects - the infant comes to realize and to experience his own wholeness. The ego re-integrates.
Envy
But the transition from the paranoid-schizoid position to the depressive one is by no means smooth and assured. Excess anxiety and envy can delay it or prevent it altogether. Envy seeks to destroy all good objects, so that others don't have them. It, therefore, hinders the split between the good and the bad "breasts". Envy destroys the good object but leaves the persecutory, bad object intact. Moreover, it does not allow the re-integration ("reparation" in the Kleinian term) to take place. The more whole the object - the greater the envy. Thus, envy feeds on its own outcomes. The more envy, the less integrated the ego is, the weaker and inadequate it is - the more reason for envying the good object and other people. Envy is the hallmark of narcissism and the prime source of what is known as narcissistic rage. The schizoid self - fragmented, weak, primitive - is intimately connected with narcissism through envy.
Narcissists prefer to destroy themselves and to deny themselves - rather than to endure someone else's happiness, wholeness and "triumph". They will fail an exam - to frustrate a teacher they adore and envy. They will fail in therapy - not to give the therapist a reason to feel professionally satisfied. By failing and self-destructing, narcissists deny the worth of others. If the narcissist fails in therapy - his analyst must be inept.
If he destroys himself by consuming drugs - his parents are blameworthy and should feel guilty (bad). One cannot exaggerate the importance of envy as a motivating power in the narcissist's life.
The psychodynamic connection is obvious. Envy is a rage reaction at not controlling or "having" or engulfing the good, desired object.
Grandiose fantasies
Narcissists defend themselves against this acidulous, corroding sensation by pretending that they DO control, possess and engulf the good object. This is what we call "grandiose fantasies (of omnipotence or omniscience)". But, in doing so, the narcissist MUST deny the existence of ANY good outside himself.
The narcissist defends himself against raging, all consuming envy - by solipsistically claiming to be the ONLY good object in the world. This is an object that cannot be had by anyone, except the narcissist and, therefore, is immune to the narcissist's threatening, annihilating envy.
In order not to be "owned" by anyone (and, thus, avoid self destruction in the hands of his own envy) - the narcissist reduces others to "non-entities" or avoids all meaningful contact with them (the schizoid solution).
The suppression of envy is at the CORE of the narcissist's being. If he fails to convince his self that he is the ONLY good object in the universe - he is exposed to his own murderous envy. If there are others out there who are better than he - he envies them, he lashes out at them ferociously, uncontrollably, madly, hatefully and spitefully. If someone tries to get emotionally intimate with the narcissist - he threatens the grandiose belief that no one but the narcissist can possess the good object (the narcissist himself). Only the narcissist can own himself, have access to himself, possess himself. This is the only way to avoid seething envy and certain self-annihilation. This underlies the reason why narcissists react as raving madmen to ANYTHING, however minute, however remote that seems to threaten their grandiose fantasies, the only protective barrier between themselves and their envy.
Link between narcissism and schizophrenia
There is nothing new in trying to link narcissism to schizophrenia.
Freud did as much in his "On Narcissism" (1914). Klein's contribution was the introduction of immediately post-natal internal objects.
Schizophrenia, she proposed, was a narcissistic and intense relationship with internal objects (such as fantasies or images, including fantasies of grandeur). It was a new language. Freud suggested a transition from (primary, object-less) narcissism (self directed libido) to "objects relations" (objects directed libido). Klein suggested a transition from internal objects to external ones. While Freud thought that the common denominator of narcissism and schizoid phenomena was a withdrawal of libido from the world - Klein suggested it was a fixation on an early phase of relating to internal objects.
But is the difference not merely a question of terminology?
"The term 'narcissism' tends to be employed diagnostically by those proclaiming loyalty to the drive model (Otto Kernberg and Edith Jacobson, for instance - SV) and mixed model theorists (Kohut), who are interested in preserving a tie to drive theory. 'Schizoid' tends to be employed diagnostically by adherents of relational models (Fairbairn, Guntrip), who are interested in articulating their break with drive theory... These two differing diagnoses and accompanying formulations are applied to patients who are essentially similar, by theorists who start with very different conceptual premises and ideological affiliations."
(Greenberg and Mitchell - "Object Relations in Psychoanalytic Theory" - Harvard University Press - 1983)
Klein, in effect, said that drives (e.g., the libido) are relational flows.
Object relations
A drive is the way a relationship between an individual and
his objects (internal and external) is. Thus, a retreat from the world (Freud)
into internal objects (object relations theorists and especially the British
Kernberg identifies these internal objects with which the narcissist maintains a special relationship with the idealized, grandiose images of the narcissist's parents. He believes that the narcissist's very ego (self-representation) fused with these parental images.
Fairbairn's work - even more than Kernberg's, not to mention Kohut's - integrates all these insights into a coherent framework. Guntrip elaborated on it and together they created one of the most impressive theoretical bodies in the history of psychology.
W. R. D. Fairbairn internalized Klein's insights that drives are object-orientated and their goal is the formation of relationships and not primarily the attainment of pleasure. Pleasurable sensations are the means to achieve relationships. The ego does not look to be stimulated and pleased but to find the right "good", supporting object.
The infant is fused with his primary object, the mother. Life is not about using objects for pleasure under the supervision of the ego and superego, as Freud postulated. Life is about separating, differentiating, achieving independence from the Primary Object and the initial state of fusion with it. Dependence on internal objects is narcissism. Freud's post-narcissistic (anaclitic) phase of life can be either dependent (immature) or mature.
The new-born's ego is looking for objects with which to form relationships with. Inevitably, some of these objects and some of these relationships frustrate the infant and disappoint him. He compensates for these setbacks by creating compensatory internal objects. The initially unitary ego thus fragments into a growing group of internal objects. Reality breaks our hearts and minds, according to Fairbairn.
Splitting of the ego
The ego and its objects are "twinned" and the ego is split in three (Harry Guntrip added a fourth ego).
A schizoid state ensues.
The "original" (Freudian or libidinal) ego is unitary, instinctual, needy and object seeking. It then fragments as a result of the three typical interactions with the mother (gratification, disappointment and deprivation). The Central Ego idealizes the "good" parents. It is conformist and obedient. The Antilibidinal Ego is a reaction to frustrations. It is rejecting, harsh, unsatisfying, against natural needs. The Libidinal Ego is the seat of cravings, desires and needs.
It is active in that it keeps seeking objects to form relationships with. Guntrip added the Regressed Ego which is the "True Self" in "cold storage"; the "lost heart of the personal self".
Fairbairn's definition of psychopathology is quantitative. Which part of the ego is dedicated to relationships with internal objects rather than with external ones (e.g., real people)? In other words: how Fragmented (=how schizoid) is the ego?
The transition from internal to external objects
To achieve a successful transition from internal objects to external ones - the child needs the right parents (in Winnicott parlance, the "good enough mother" - not the perfect, but the "good enough"). The child internalizes the bad aspects of his parents in the form of internal, bad objects and then proceeds to suppress them, together ('twinned") with portions of his ego.
Thus, his parents become PART of the child (though a repressed one).
The more bad objects are repressed, the "less ego is left" for healthy relationships with external objects. To Fairbairn, the source of all psychological disturbances is in these schizoid phenomena. Later developments (such as the Oedipus Complex) are less crucial. Fairbairn and Guntrip think that if a person is too attached to his compensatory internal object - he will find it hard to mature psychologically.
Maturing is about letting go of internal objects. Some people just don't want to mature, or are reluctant to do so, or are ambivalent about it. This reluctance, this withdrawal to an internal world of representations, internal objects and broken ego - is narcissism itself.
Narcissists simply don't know how to be themselves, how to acquire independence and, simultaneously manage their relationships with other people.
The borderline between neurosis and psychosis
Both Otto Kernberg and Heinz Kohut agreed that narcissism is between neuroses and psychoses. Kernberg thought that it was a borderline phenomenon, on the verge of psychosis (where the ego is completely shattered). In this respect, Kernberg identifies narcissism with schizoid phenomena and with schizophrenia more than Kohut did. This is not the only difference between them. They also disagree on the developmental locus of narcissism. Kohut thinks that narcissism is an early phase of development, fossilized, forever to be repeated (a massive repetition complex) while Kernberg maintains that the narcissistic self is pathological from its very inception. Kohut believes that the narcissist's parents provided him with no assurances that he does possess a self (in his words, with no selfobject).
They did not explicitly recognize the child's nascent self, its separate existence, its boundaries. The child learned to have a schizoid, split, fragmented self - rather than a coherent and integrated one. To him, narcissism is really all-pervasive, at the very core of being (whether in its mature form, as self-love, or in it regressive, infantile form as a narcissistic disorder).
Kernberg regards "mature narcissism" (also espoused by neo-Freudians like Grunberger and Chasseguet-Smirgel) as a contradiction in terms, an oxymoron.
He observes that narcissists are already grandiose and schizoid (detached, cold, aloof, asocial) at an early age (at three years old, according to him!). Like Klein, Kernberg believes that narcissism is a last ditch effort (defence) to halt the emergence of the paranoid-schizoid position described by Klein. In an adult such an emergence is known as "psychosis" and this is why Kernberg classifies narcissists as borderline (almost) psychotics.
Even Kohut, who is an opponent of Kernberg's classification, uses Eugene O'Neill's famous sentence (in "The Great God Brown"): "Man is born broken. He lives by mending. The grace of God is glue." Kernberg himself sees a clear connection between schizoid phenomena (such as alienation in modern society and subsequent withdrawal) and narcissistic phenomena (inability to form relationships or to make commitments or to empathize).
C. Fred Alford in "Narcissism: Socrates, the
"Fairbairn and Guntrip represent the purest expression of object relations theory, which is characterized by the insight that real relationships with real people build psychic structure. Although they rarely mention narcissism, they see a schizoid split in the self as characteristic of virtually all emotional disorder. It is Greenberg and Mitchell, in Object Relations in Psychoanalytic Theory who establish the relevance of Fairbairn and Guntrip... by pointing out that what American analysts label 'narcissism', British analysts tend to call 'schizoid personality disorder'.
This insight allows us to connect the symptomatology of narcissism - feelings of emptiness, unreality, alienation and emotional withdrawal - with a theory that sees such symptoms as an accurate reflection of the experience of being split off from a part of oneself. That narcissism is such a confusing category is in large part because its drive-theoretic definition, the libidinal cathexis of the self - in a word, self-love - seems far removed from the experience of narcissism, as characterized by a loss of, or split in, the self. Fairbairn's and Guntrip's view of narcissism as an excessive attachment of the ego to internal objects (roughly analogous to Freud's narcissistic, as opposed to object, love), resulting in various splits in the ego necessary to maintain these attachments, allows us to penetrate this confusion" (page 67).
Narcissus in the arts
The parable of Narcissus has been a fertile vein for artists to mine for at least two thousand years, beginning with the Roman poet Ovid (book III of Metamorphoses), followed in more recent centuries by other poets (Keats), and painters (Caravaggio, Poussin, Turner, Dalí, and Waterhouse). In Stendhal's novel Le Rouge et le Noir (1830), there is a classic narcissist in the character of Mathilde. Says Prince Korasoff to Julien Sorel, the protagonist, with respect to his beloved:
She looks at herself instead of looking at you, and so doesn't know you. During the two or three little outbursts of passion she has allowed herself in your favor, she has, by a great effort of imagination, seen in you the hero of her dreams, and not yourself as you really are. (Page 401, 1953 Penguin Edition, trans. Margaret R.B. Shaw)
Symbolism
The narcissus flowers early in the spring and is often found in damp soil near to a pond. It is a self-sufficient, fertile but stagnant environment. The flower is usually of six white vesica-shaped radiating petals with a central yellow funnel containing the stamen and the stigma. It has a firm and upright stalk. In Islam the Hadith of Bukhari associates the flower with the upright and righteous man. The symbol has also been likened to the transformation of vanity and self-centeredness to the humility of a more individuated and spiritual self.
See also
Further reading
- Vaknin, Sam - Malignant
Self Love - Narcissism Revisited -
- Alford, C. Fred - Narcissism:
Socrates, the
- Fairbairn, W. R. D. - An
Object Relations Theory of the Personality -
- Freud S. - Three Essays
on the Theory of Sexuality (1905) - Standard Edition of the
Complete Psychological Works of Sigmund Freud - Vol. 7 -
- Freud, S. - On Narcissism - Standard Edition - Vol. 14 - pp. 73-107
- Golomb, Elan - Trapped in the Mirror : Adult Children of Narcissists in Their Struggle for Self - Quill, 1995
- Greenberg, Jay R. and Mitchell, Stephen A. - Object Relations in Psychoanalytic Theory - Cambridge, Mass., Harvard University Press, 1983
- Grunberger, Bela - Narcissism:
Psychoanalytic Essays -
- Guntrip, Harry - Personality
Structure and Human Interaction -
- Horowitz M.J. - Sliding Meanings: A defense against threat in narcissistic personalities - International Journal of Psychoanalytic Psychotherapy - 1975;4:167
- Jacobson, Edith - The
Self and the Object World -
- Kernberg O. - Borderline
Conditions and Pathological Narcissism -
- Klein, Melanie - The Writings of Melanie Klein - Ed. Roger Money-Kyrle - 4 vols. - New York, Free Press - 1964-75
- Kohut H. - The Analysis
of the Self -
- Lasch, Christopher - The
Culture of Narcissism -
- Lowen, Alexander - Narcissism : Denial of the True Self - Touchstone Books, 1997
- Millon, Theodore (and Roger
D. Davis, contributor) - Disorders of Personality: DSM IV and Beyond
- 2nd ed. -
- Millon, Theodore - Personality
Disorders in Modern Life -
- Ronningstam, Elsa F. (ed.) - Disorders of Narcissism: Diagnostic, Clinical, and Empirical Implications - American Psychiatric Press, 1998
- Rothstein, Arnold - The
Narcissistic Pursuit of Reflection - 2nd revised ed. -
- Schwartz, Lester - Narcissistic Personality Disorders - A Clinical Discussion - Journal of Am. Psychoanalytic Association - 22 (1974): 292-305
- Stern, Daniel - The
Interpersonal World of the Infant: A View from Psychoanalysis and
Developmental Psychology -
- Zweig, Paul - The
Heresy of Self-Love: A Study of Subversive Individualism -
External Links
Lies People Tell
Sam Vaknin, Ph.D. - 12/13/2005
All people lie some of the time. They use words to convey their lies while
their body language usually gives them away. This is curious. Why did evolution
prefer this self-defeating strategy? The answer lies in the causes of the
phenomenon.
We lie for three main reasons and these give rise to three categories of lies:
1. The Empathic Lie * is a lie told with the intention of sparing someone's
feelings. It is a face saving lie * but someone else's face. It is designed to
prevent a loss of social status, the onslaught of social sanctions, the process
of judgment involved in both. It is a derivative of our ability to put
ourselves in someone else's shoes * that is, to empathize. It is intended to
spare OUR feelings, which are bound to turn more and more unpleasant the more
we sympathize with the social-mental predicament of the person lied to. The
reverse, brutal honesty, at all costs and in all circumstances * is a form of
sadistic impulse. The lie achieves its goal only if the recipient cooperates,
does not actively seek the truth out and acquiescently participates in the
mini-drama unfolding in his honor.
2. The Egocentric Lie * is a lie intended to further the well being of the
liar. This can be achieved in one of two ways. The lie can help the liar to
achieve his goals (a Goal Seeking Lie) or to avoid embarrassment, humiliation,
social sanctions, judgment, criticism and, in general, unpleasant experiences
related to social standing (a Face Saving Lie). The Face Saving type is
instrumental only in social situations.
3. The Narcissistic Lie * is separated from his brethren by its breadth. It is
all-pervasive, ubiquitous, ever recurring, all encompassing, entangled and
intertwined with all the elements of the liar's life and personality. Moreover,
it is a lie of whose nature the liar is not aware and he is himself convinced
of its as truth. The Narcissist-liar is rather like a hunchback without a
mirror. He does not believe in the reality of his own hump.
Confabulations are an important part of life. They serve to heal
emotional wounds or to prevent ones from being inflicted in the first place.
They prop-up the confabulator's self-esteem, regulate his (or her) sense of
self-worth, and buttress his (or her) self-image. They serve as organizing
principles in social interactions.
Father's wartime heroism, mother's youthful good looks, are typical examples of
white, fuzzy, heart-warming lies wrapped around a shriveled kernel of truth.
But the distinction between reality and fantasy is rarely completely lost. Deep
inside, the healthy confabulator knows where facts end and wishful thinking
takes over. Father acknowledges he was no war hero, though he did his share of
fighting. Mother understands she was no ravishing beauty, though she may have
been attractive. The confabulator realizes that his recounted exploits are
overblown, his brilliance exaggerated, and his sexual irresistibility a myth.
Such distinctions never rise to the surface because everyone - the confabulator
and his audience alike - have a common interest to maintain the confabulation.
To challenge the integrity of the confabulator or the veracity of his
confabulations is to threaten the very fabric of family and society. Human
intercourse is built around such entertaining deviations from the truth.
This is where the narcissist differs from others (from "normal"
people).
His very self is a piece of fiction concocted to fend off hurt and to nurture
the narcissist's grandiosity. He fails in his "reality test" - the
ability to distinguish the actual from the imagined. The narcissist fervently
believes in his own infallibility, brilliance, omnipotence, heroism, and
perfection. He doesn't dare confront the truth and admit it even to himself.
Moreover, he imposes his personal mythology on his nearest and dearest. Spouse,
children, colleagues, friends, neighbors - sometimes even perfect strangers -
must abide by the narcissist's narrative or face his wrath. The narcissist
countenances no disagreement, alternative points of view, or criticism. To him,
confabulation IS reality.
The coherence of the narcissist's dysfunctional and precariously balanced
personality depends on the plausibility of his stories and on their acceptance
by his Sources of Narcissistic Supply. The narcissist invests an inordinate
time in substantiating his tales, collecting "evidence", defending his
version of events, and in re-interpreting reality to fit his scenario.
The narcissist lies
at the drop of a hat, needlessly, and almost ceaselessly. He lies in order to
avoid the Grandiosity Gap - when the abyss between fact and (narcissistic)
fiction becomes too gaping to ignore.
The narcissist lies in order to preserve appearances, uphold fantasies,
support the tall (and impossible) tales of his False Self and extract
Narcissistic Supply from unsuspecting sources, who are not yet on to him. To
the narcissist, confabulation is not merely a way of life - but life itself.
We are all conditioned to let other indulge in pet delusions and get away with
white, not too egregious, lies. The narcissist makes use of our socialization.
We dare not confront or expose him, despite the outlandishness of his claims,
the improbability of his stories, the implausibility of his alleged
accomplishments and conquests. We simply turn the other cheek.
Moreover, the narcissist makes clear, from the very beginning, that it is his
way or the highway. His aggression - even violent streak - is close to the
surface. He may be charming in a first encounter - but even then there are
telltale signs of pent-up potential for abuse. His interlocutors sense this
impending threat and avoid conflict by acquiescing with the narcissist's fairy
tales. Thus he imposes his private universe and virtual reality on his
interpersonal space, particularly his Narcissistic suppliers - with disastrous
consequences.
The
Cult of the Narcissist
By Sam Vaknin
Author of "Malignant Self Love - Narcissism Revisited"
The narcissist is the guru at the centre of a cult. Like other
gurus, he demands complete obedience from his flock: his spouse, his
offspring, other family members, friends, and colleagues. He feels
entitled to adulation and special treatment by his followers. He
punishes the wayward and the straying lambs. He enforces discipline,
adherence to his teachings, and common goals. The less accomplished
he is in reality - the more stringent his mastery and the more
pervasive the brainwashing.
The - often involuntary - members of the narcissist's mini-cult
inhabit a twilight zone of his own construction. He imposes on them
a shared psychosis, replete with persecutory delusions, "enemies",
mythical narratives, and apocalyptic scenarios if he is flouted.
The narcissist's control is based on ambiguity, unpredictability,
fuzziness, and ambient abuse. His ever-shifting whims exclusively
define right versus wrong, desirable and unwanted, what is to be
pursued and what to be avoided. He alone determines the rights and
obligations of his disciples and alters them at will.
The narcissist is a micro-manager. He exerts control over the
minutest details and behaviours. He punishes severely and abuses
withholders of information and those who fail to conform to his
wishes and goals.
The narcissist does not respect the boundaries and privacy of his
reluctant adherents. He ignores their wishes and treats them as
objects or instruments of gratification. He seeks to control both
situations and people compulsively.
He strongly disapproves of others' personal autonomy and
independence. Even innocuous activities, such as meeting a friend or
visiting one's family require his permission. Gradually, he isolates
his nearest and dearest until they are fully dependent on him
emotionally, sexually, financially, and socially.
He acts in a patronising and condescending manner and criticises
often. He alternates between emphasising the minutest faults
(devalues) and exaggerating the talents, traits, and skills
(idealises) of the members of his cult. He is wildly unrealistic in
his expectations - which legitimises his subsequent abusive conduct.
The narcissist claims to be infallible, superior, talented, skilful,
omnipotent, and omniscient. He often lies and confabulates to
support these unfounded claims. Within his cult, he expects awe,
admiration, adulation, and constant attention commensurate with his
outlandish stories and assertions. He reinterprets reality to fit
his fantasies.
His thinking is dogmatic, rigid, and doctrinaire. He does not
countenance free thought, pluralism, or free speech and doesn't
brook criticism and disagreement. He demands - and often gets -
complete trust and the relegation to his capable hands of all
decision-making.
He forces the participants in his cult to be hostile to critics, the
authorities, institutions, his personal enemies, or the media - if
they try to uncover his actions and reveal the truth. He closely
monitors and censors information from the outside, exposing his
captive audience only to selective data and analyses.
The narcissist's cult is "missionary" and "imperialistic".
He is
always on the lookout for new recruits - his spouse's friends, his
daughter's girlfriends, his neighbours, new colleagues at work. He
immediately attempts to "convert" them to his "creed" - to
convince
them how wonderful and admirable he is. In other words, he tries to
render them Sources of Narcissistic Supply.
Often, his behaviour on these "recruiting missions" is different to
his conduct within the "cult". In the first phases of wooing new
admirers and proselytising to potential "conscripts" - the
narcissist is attentive, compassionate, empathic, flexible, self-
effacing, and helpful. At home, among the "veterans" he is
tyrannical, demanding, wilful, opinionated, aggressive, and
exploitative.
As the leader of his congregation, the narcissist feels entitled to
special amenities and benefits not accorded the "rank and file". He
expects to be waited on hand and foot, to make free use of
everyone's money and dispose of their assets liberally, and to be
cynically exempt from the rules that he himself established (if such
violation is pleasurable or gainful).
In extreme cases, the narcissist feels above the law - any kind of
law. This grandiose and haughty conviction leads to criminal acts,
incestuous or polygamous relationships, and recurrent friction with
the authorities.
Hence the narcissist's panicky and sometimes violent reactions
to "dropouts" from his cult. There's a lot going on that the
narcissist wants kept under wraps. Moreover, the narcissist
stabilises his fluctuating sense of self-worth by deriving
Narcissistic Supply from his victims. Abandonment threatens the
narcissist's precariously balanced personality.
Add to that the narcissist's paranoid and schizoid tendencies, his
lack of introspective self-awareness, and his stunted sense of
humour (lack of self-deprecation) and the risks to the grudging
members of his cult are clear.
The narcissist sees enemies and conspiracies everywhere. He often
casts himself as the heroic victim (martyr) of dark and stupendous
forces. In every deviation from his tenets he espies malevolent and
ominous subversion. He, therefore, is bent on disempowering his
devotees. By any and all means.
The narcissist is dangerous.
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