Narcissism Exposed

The Impact of Narcissism on Leadership and Sustainability Bruce Gregory, Ph.D. © 1999 In our society, the self focus known as narcissism interferes with and ultimately undermines leadership and efforts towards sustainability. This chapter will define the problem, address some of the skills necessary to interface effectively and proactively with individuals exhibiting narcissism, and offer alternatives for positive transformations and sustainability. INTRODUCTION THE SOURCE OF NARCISSISM FACTORS ENABLING NARCISSISM TO SABOTAGE SUSTAINABILITY RECOGNIZING NARCISSISM IN ACTION INTERACTING EFFECTIVELY WITH NARCISSISM FORCES SKILLS FOR DEALING WITH NARCISSISM LEADERS WHO FOUGHT NARCISSISTIC FORCES CONCLUSION About Bruce Gregory INTRODUCTION As we explore ways of achieving sustainability on a variety of levels, it can be instructive to consider, understand and appreciate some of the forces which hinder its realization. While sustainability utilizes mutual respect and an att

Is There a Relationionship Between Narcissism and Shame? Understanding Narcissistic Shame: It is important to understand that narcissists have difficulties auto-regulating their shame, the reason for that is because most of the time their “shame” is unconscious and unrecognizable to them.  I believe that this may well be the cornerstone of their disorder, and the reason that many victims fall foul of their rage.  In order to bolster themselves from shame, the narcissist hides behind a mask of grandiosity, but if you shame them, and cause that mask to slip, you will become a victim of their rage.  Rage comes in many forms (from mild irritation, aloofness, serious outbursts, to violence) , but all pertain to the same important thing, revenge. Shame has long been recognized as a defense mechanism against humiliation, and that it is central to the experience of the   self  (whether being taunted or admired).  However, to-day’s theorists are realizing that there is a direct relat

The False SELF – My notes Once formed and functioning, the False Self stifles the growth of the True Self and paralyses it. Henceforth, the True Self is virtually non-existent and plays no role (active or passive) in the conscious life of the narcissist. It is difficult to "resuscitate" it, even with psychotherapy. This substitution is not only a question of alienation, as Horney observed. She said that because the Idealised (=False) Self sets impossible goals to the narcissist, the results are frustration and self hate which grow with every setback or failure. But the constant sadistic judgement, the self-berating, the suicidal ideation emanate from the narcissist's idealised, sadistic, Superego regardless of the existence or functioning of a False Self. There is no conflict between the True Self and the False Self. First, the True Self is much too weak to do battle with the overbearing False. Second, the False Self is adaptive (though maladaptive). It helps the True

The Narcissist’s  Antisocial Solution The narcissist renounces reality.  To his mind, those who fail to recognize his unbound talents, innate superiority , overarching brilliance, benevolent nature, entitlement, cosmically important mission, perfection, etc.  - do not deserve consideration .  The narcissist's has a natural affinity with the criminal - his lack of empathy and compassion, his deficient social skills,   his disregard for social laws and morals - now erupt and blossom. On the spectrum of Personality D/O, the Narcissist sits next to the Antisocial and Borderline Px/D/O He eventually always becomes a fully fledged antisocial (sociopath or psychopath) as he continues to convince himself of his grandiosity, he specialness.  He develops into his own delusional False Self, now classic hubris which knows no bounds of entitlements.   He ignores the wishes and needs of others, he breaks the law, he violates all rights - natural and legal, he holds people in contempt and

This was to be my path of Growth and Redemption for my own N Family of Origin What does it mean to be differentiated from your family of origin? In a poorly differentiated family, the pressure for togetherness is strong.  Reduced emotional over-reactivity The differentiated person reacts objectively instead of subjectively. The "button pushing" reactions which typify subjective and emotional over-reaction are less frequent. A differentiated person understands the source of the emotional over-reactions and accepts differences between family members. Resisting the urge to "correct" other family members A differentiated person can accept differences in goals, values and beliefs between family members. There is little need to encourage other family members to be the same. A differentiated person is able to accept different opinions and choices from other people. It is not necessary to triangle a third person into an alliance to "prove the other is wr