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Showing posts from 2017

Notes on NO CONTACT with Narcs

Notes on No Contact If you find yourself trapped by  a Narcissist,  Psychopath , or Sociopath, the most loving thing you can ever do for yourself or them is to leave them be, exactly as they are, and go full on NO CONTACT. By loving yourself enough to call it quits and move on with your life, you also fully allow them to remain their same toxic, smug, artificially superior selves they have always been. Loving someone unconditionally — in this sort of instance — many times means respecting the other person’s desire to remain a BAD person so much that you have to walk away and stop trying to change, improve, or in any way “better” them. Going “no contact” is a term Narcissistic Abuse Survivors use to designate taking back their life, escaping the madness, and cutting off all social ties to an abusive person and anyone who actively supports, enables, or acts like a Flying Monkey (intentionally or negligently). It is not the same thing as  stonewalling , abandoning, or avoiding people

The Golden Boy and the Scapegoat in N Families

Below was something that came across my desk today that I felt worthy of sharing -  "I'm sure you don't need me to tell you this but when speaking of the family, the narcs simply view their family as a mere extension of themselves. The children are molded to confine to the constant demands, ignored,  and are left with a sense of wonder about their placement in the world and themselves. There  is an order to the narcissist chaos as a family system. In the toxic family they create,  there is always a golden child & the scapegoat, (the black sheep) as part of the family system. Where the child winds up,  whether as the devalued and discarded child,  (the scapegoat) or  inversely as the ‘Golden Boy,' idealized and over valued,  is anyone's guess.  it depends on how the narcissistic parent, the puppet master of the family,  views that particular child and the value that child holds to them as a source(s) of narcissistic supply in their own search for p

Notes on Minions and Flying Monkeys - Enablers of Narcissists

What Flying Monkeys / Minions -  Do For Narcissists    “Flying Monkeys” is a term used in psychology to describe the sycophantic hangers-on who usually orbit around narcissists, and support/defend everything they do. Like the Wicked Witch of the West’s flying monkeys in the Wizard of Oz, “Flying Monkeys” (henceforth referred to as “FMs”) are the brainwashed minions the narcissist uses to carry out their bidding.  Below are a few examples of how this can occur, and how to dodge those wily jerks. How Narcissists Use Flying Monkeys If you’ve been involved with a narcissist for some time, you know damned well how they can manipulate other people to suit their own whims and needs. One common instance where FMs are recruited is after a breakup or when a child goes no contact with their Narcissistic parent. The narcissist will  charm a few new people to bolster his or her ego, and these newbies will be told all about how horrible, crazy, and possibly even abusive their ex or chi

Some Posts to other Blogs

Narcissistic Friday – April 14 2015   Great work on such an important topic. Enmeshment (poor boundaries) is at the core of developing yet another Narcissistic child. The N parent projects their Grandiose Self, their Self- Idealizing self onto the blank slate of the innocent child.  Through extension, and forced identification they are able to get back from the child – mirror effect – Narcissistic fuel to support their own Grandiose Self they had before the child was born.   The most tragic figure in the Narcissus myth is not Narcissus, who dies from his self- absorption, but Echo who dies from never having been loved by Narcissus.  Both never found true Love. These children of Narcissists are simply being enslaved to “Echo” the grandiosity of the Narcissistic parents. A relationship with the Divine is the only way to break free from an enmeshment with either a close N parent, N family system or within a cult-like Narcissistic larger social group.  Some have said that Satan is alwa


19 SIGNS YOU WERE RAISED BY A NARCISSISTIC MOTHER OR FATHER LEARNING HOW TO UNDERSTAND AND MAKE PEACE WITH YOUR CHILDHOOD IS ONE OF THE MOST HEALING AND EMPOWERING EXPERIENCES YOU COULD EVER GO THROUGH. As the son of a drug-addicted mother and totally absent father, I know how important it is to come to terms with your parent’s mental illness. When we were children, we looked up to our parents for support, encouragement, nurturing and love. But when we were denied these things, we developed a variety of beliefs, behavioral patterns and coping mechanisms to help us survive in such a difficult environment. As adults, we often play out these same coping mechanisms, often to our own detriment. The thing about being the child of a narcissistic mother and/or father is that it often contributes to something known in shamanic terminology as soul loss.  Soul loss  is the inability to contact or experience our souls due to the unresolved wounds, traumas and fears we’ve accumulated o