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The Golden Boy and the Scapegoat in N Families


Below was something that came across my desk today that I felt worthy of sharing - 



"I'm sure you don't need me to tell you this but when speaking of the family, the narcs simply view their family as a mere extension of themselves.
The children are molded to confine to the constant demands, ignored,  and are left with a sense of wonder about their placement in the world and themselves.
There is an order to the narcissist chaos as a family system. In the toxic family they create,  there is always a golden child & the scapegoat, (the black sheep) as part of the family system.
Where the child winds up,  whether as the devalued and discarded child,  (the scapegoat) or  inversely as the ‘Golden Boy,' idealized and over valued,  is anyone's guess.  it depends on how the narcissistic parent, the puppet master of the family,  views that particular child and the value that child holds to them as a source(s) of narcissistic supply in their own search for personal glory, social image, power, reputation and so on. Any object that extends themselves into the world of image and status they will manipulate and control further.  They only have relationships with objects, period.
For everyone in a narcissistic family life is completely about social image.  It's about secrets and lies; it’s about unclear boundaries.
There is no emotional attachment, love, or connection to the children, or as siblings to each other and hence their failure to connect with anyone their whole life.
Rather there is only the narcissistic parent front and center, even in death often,  who feels superior, with a grandiose ego, and dreams of power and control so much so that he or she wishes to be the puppet master in charge of the family's happiness or unhappiness as the case may be, now 'and forever more'. 
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