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Showing posts from March, 2018

A Good Review of Enmeshment

What is Enmeshment? 9/17/2017 49 Comments What is an "Enmeshed" Family? Salvador Minuchen introduced the concept of "enmeshed" families in his family systems theory in the mid-1970s.  There are varying degrees of enmeshment, when it does exist .  An enmeshed family allows individual members little to no autonomy or personal boundaries.  The roles among family members can be very rigid. One person might be "the scapegoat," another person might be "the hero " and so on. These roles are not explicitly assigned. It's usually an unconscious process and much more subtle than that. The point is that individuals in this type of family often grow up not knowing how they really feel or what they want to do in their lives because they are  encouraged to feel whatever the rest of the family feels  (usually initiated by one or both of the parents) and strongly discouraged from developing their own feelings and preferences. What are the Conseq

The lifetime effects on Adult Children of a Narcissistic Parent

So how does the   Narcissistic Parent affect their children? The child won’t feel heard or seen. They feel invisible to their parent. In adult life, they will go on to feel invisible and dismissed  from everyone around them The child’s basic feelings and reality will not be acknowledged, basis feelings such as anger. These basic feelings will be invalided, the child will be shamed by the parent in having them at all. The child in turn will dedicate themselves to regaining the lost parents love by going silent, becoming the obedient child,  becoming the role of the 'good little boy'. Eventually their entire emotionally system  withers and dies, as it has been shamed, leaving the child feeling defective and joyless, loveless.    The child will be treated   as an accessory to the parent, rather than a person. They become only an extension, a ‘self-object’ to the parent. The child will be more valued for what they do (usually for the parent) than for