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Abused Children and Betrayal Trauma Theory - A Very Deep Wound

 

Betrayal Trauma Theory Summary

Betrayal trauma theory posits that there is a social utility/ advantage in remaining unaware of the abuse when the perpetrator is a close caregiver such as a parent (Freyd, 1994, 1996). The theory draws on studies of social contracts (e.g., Cosmides, 1989) to explain why and how humans are excellent at detecting betrayals and ethical violations at a very early age however, Freyd argues that under many circumstances detecting them and then protesting the trauma betrayals would be counter-productive to the survival of the helpless child.

Specifically, in cases where a victim is dependent on a caregiver, survival may require that she/he remain unaware of the betrayal otherwise, the all-important parental bond is threatened.  In the case of any traumatic childhood abuse of any kind, a child who is aware that her/his parent is being abusive may withdraw from the relationship (e.g., emotionally or in terms of proximity). For a child who is dependant on a close caregiver for basic survival, who withdraws from the parent is at odds with the child’s ultimate survival goals. The child has already experienced parent withdrawal following an incident of normal protest in the past.  The parent invalidates the normal, natural response of the child instead by further reducing any parental caregiving through neglect or increasing the abuse and violence directed at the child.

 In such cases, the child's survival would be better ensured by being blind and remaining docile and unreactive, to the betrayal trauma by compartmentalizing / splitting / dissociating or other ego defensive maneuvers to ensure all memory of the abuse events are forgotten, thus maintaining as best they can the now toxic/broken trust bond that has been created by the parent towards the helpless, vulnerable child. 

This unloving/selfish/indifferent response by the parent is diagnostic of a Narcissistic Parent and a deep wounding of betrayal trauma by someone the child is only trying to love. 

 

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