The development of the Narcissistic ego structure, as a grouping of defense mechanisms, begins with the splitting defense mechanism. The narcissist fails to view other people, situations, and entities i.e. political parties, countries or race, as a compound of both good and bad elements. He either idealizes his object or he denies their very existence. Things are seen in black and white. The object is either all good or all bad. The bad attributes are always projected, displaced or otherwise externalized. The good ones are internalized in order to support the inflated grandiose self-concept of the narcissist and his grandiose fantasies as well are to avoid the pain of deflation and disillusionment. The narcissist pursues narcissistic supply i.e. attention both positive and negative and uses it to regulate his fragile fluctuating sense of self-worth.
The issue of separation of individualization.
According to psychodynamic theories and psychosocial developmental theories, parents as primary objects and more specifically often the mothers are the first agents of socialization. It is through the mother that the child explores the most important questions, concerning the nature of the self and others, (external objects) the questions to which answers will shape his entire life. Later on she is the subject of his nascent sexual cravings, a diffuse sense of wanting to merge, physically as well as spiritually. This object of love is idealized and internalized and becomes part of our unconsciousness which is called the superego from the psychoanalytical model of Freud.
Growing up entails the gradual detachment from the mother
and the reduction of the sexual attraction towards her which becomes redirected
towards others who are more socially appropriate. Essentially new lovers,
essentially resolving the Oedipal Complex which becomes the key to the
independent exploration of the world, towards a strong sense of self. If any of these phases is thwarted, example -
the mother herself will not let go, the process of differentiation and
individualization is not successfully completed, autonomy and a coherent sense
of self is not achieved in a person which is characterized by dependence and immaturity.
Childhood traumas
and the development of narcissistic personality disorder.
Early childhood abuse traumas trigger coping strategies by way of defense mechanisms to seek gratification from a secure, reliable and permanently available source, from oneself. The child fearful of further rejection and abuse refrains from further interaction and resorts to grandiose fantasies of being loved and self-sufficient. Repeated hurt and abuse then lead to the development of narcissistic personality disorder.
The narcissist and
his family integrative framework
For very young children, self-esteem is probably best thought to consist of deep feelings of being loved, accepted and valued by significant others rather than of feelings derived from evaluating oneself against external criteria. The unconditional love and acceptance experienced the first year or two of life lays the foundation for later self-esteem and makes it possible for the preschooler and older child to withstand occasional criticism and devaluation that usually accompanies socialization to the larger community.
As children grow beyond the preschool years, the larger society imposes criteria and conditions of love and acceptance. If the very early feelings of love and acceptance are deep enough the children can most likely weather the rebuffs and scolding of the later years without undue debilitation or excessiveness defensiveness.
A codependent that emotionally depends exclusively on a classic parental narcissist is sometimes referred to as the covert narcissist by writers such as Élan Golomb and Alexander Lowen.
All of us are narcissistic at an early stage of our lives. As infants and toddlers we feel that we are the center of the universe, the most important, omnipotent and omnipresent at that phase of our development. We perceive our parents as godlike figures, immortal and awesomely powerful, existing solely to cater to our needs, to protect and nourish us. Both the self and the others are viewed immaturely as idealizations.
This is sometimes called the phase of primary narcissism.
Primary narcissism, in psychology is a defense mechanism, common in young children from six months to six years old. Its purpose is to shield the infant and toddler from the inevitable hurt and fears in the individualization separation phase of personal development.
Secondary or pathological narcissism is a pattern of thinking and behaving in adolescence and adulthood, which is characterized by obsessive self-preoccupation / self- absorption to the exclusion of others. It manifests in a chronic pursuit of personal gratification, attention, social dominance, and personal ambition. Their inner world is characterized by a deep sense of insecurity to others, a complete lack of empathy and excessive dependence on others to meet his or her responsibilities and in basic daily living. Pathological narcissism is at the core of the narcissistic personality disorder.
Narcissistic
regression and the formation of Secondary Narcissism
Research shows that when the individual at any age encounters an insurmountable obstacle to his or her orderly progression from one stage of personal development to another, he or she regresses to a more infantile, narcissistic phase and may become stuck there.
Unfortunately those with NPD remain in this regression to a life insurmountable ego insult of someee kind. While it regression, the person displays childish, immature behaviors. He feels he is a threat or under threat and misjudges his own power and that of the opposition. He usually distorts the challenges facing him. His sensitivity to the needs and emotions of others and his ability to empathize with them deteriorates sharply. Particularly in the aged Narcissist they may become intolerably haughty and arrogant, with sadistic and paranoid tendencies. Above all, he then seeks unconditional admiration, even when others with more objective views perceived that he does not deserve it. He is preoccupied with fantastic, magical thinking and daydreams.
In summary then a Narsissitict Personality Disorder arises in early life when an unconscious decision is made to only have a life that will be lived in a world of fantasy, grandiosity and entitlement. The youth retreats into his self-made Grandiose Bubble, a Fantasy Dream of Personal Greatness, Love and Control.
W. Howe - November 5th 2020
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