Skip to main content

The Masochistic Avoidant Solution used by Covert N

 Masochistic Avoidant Solution – Embracing the Victim Role

The narcissist is always angered by the lack of an adequate narcissistic supply that he has depended on in his life thus far unil threatened.  
He masochistic N will directs some of this fury inwards, punishing himself for
his "failure".  This masochistic behavior has the added "benefit" of
forcing the narcissist's closest relationship to assume the roles of dismayed
spectators or of persecutors and thus, either way, to pay him the
attention that he craves.

Self-administered punishment often manifests as self-handicapping
masochism - a narcissistic cop-out.  By undermining his work, his
relationships and his efforts, the increasingly fragile narcissist
avoids additional criticism and censure (negative supply).  Self-
inflicted failure is the narcissist's doing and thus proves that he
is the master of his own fate.

Masochistic narcissists keep finding themselves in self-defeating
circumstances which render success impossible – They fear and avoid "an objective
assessment of their performance." (Million, 2000).  They
act carelessly, withdraw in mid-effort, are constantly fatigued,
bored, or disaffected and thus passive-aggressively sabotage their
lives.  Their suffering is defiant and by "deciding to abort" they
reassert their omnipotence.

The narcissist's pronounced and public misery and self-pity are
compensatory and "reinforce (his) self-esteem against overwhelming
convictions of worthlessness" (Million, 2000).  His tribulations and
anguish render him, in his eyes, unique, saintly, virtuous,
righteous, resilient, and significant. Commonly seen in those who live lives of victimhood and refuse to give up this victim role.
They are, in other words, self-generating their own  narcissistic supply.

Thus, paradoxically, the worst his anguish and unhappiness, the more
relieved and elated such a narcissist feels!


Popular posts from this blog

Psychoanalytic Psychotherapy of The Covert / Closet Narcissistic Personality Disorder - Excellent Summary

Psychoanalytic Psychotherapy of The Covert Narcissistic Personality Disorder (Closet): A Developmental Self and Object Relations Approach By JAMES MASTERS A therapist baffled by a therapeutic impasse with a “borderline” patient Asks for a consultation and gives a good description of the patient’s clinical picture: depression, difficulty with self-assertion, clinging in relationships and with the therapist, difficulties with anger and impulse control, an inadequate sense of self, and denial of self-destructive behavior. The diagnosis of borderline personality disorder of the self seemed correct, and the therapist used the appropriate therapeutic intervention of confrontation. However, the patient, rather than integrating the confrontations to develop a therapeutic alliance, instead responded either by attacking the therapist and becoming more and more resistant, or by seeming to integrate the confrontations, but without a change in affect or the developi


This is one of the BEST articles on NPD that I have used most extensively over the years. NARCISSISTIC PERSONALITY DISORDER By Dr. Maria Hsia Chang, Professor, Political Science, University of Nevada , Reno In psychology, personality disorders refer to individual traits that reflect ingrained, inflexible, and maladaptive patterns of behavior that cause discomfort and impair a person’s ability to function--including her relations with friends and family. At least ten distinct personality disorders have been identified, one of which is the narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) that the American Psychological Association (APA) classifies as a “cluster B” disorder. NPD is a highly complex psychological - behavioral syndrome that confounds and baffles those close to the afflicted. Once understood, however, one achieves clarity of vision. Socio-biologists maintain that narcissism is natural f