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The Masochistic Avoidant Solution used by Covert N



 Masochistic Avoidant Solution – Embracing the Victim Role



The narcissist is always angered by the lack of an adequate narcissistic supply that he has depended on in his life thus far until threatened.  

His masochistic N will direct some of this fury inward, punishing himself for his "failure". This masochistic behavior has the added "benefit" of forcing the narcissist's closest relationship to assume the role of dismayed spectators or of persecutors and thus, either way, to pay him the attention that he craves.

Self-administered punishment often manifests as self-handicapping
masochism - a narcissistic cop-out.  By undermining his work, his
relationships and his efforts, the increasingly fragile narcissist
avoids additional criticism and censure (negative supply).  Self-
inflicted failure is the narcissist's doing and thus proves that he
is the master of his fate.

Masochistic narcissists keep finding themselves in self-defeating
circumstances which render success impossible – They fear and avoid "an objective assessment of their performance." (Million, 2000).  They act carelessly, withdraw in mid-effort, are constantly fatigued,
bored, or disaffected and thus passive-aggressively sabotage their
lives.  Their suffering is defiant and by "deciding to abort" they
reassert their omnipotence.

The narcissist's pronounced public misery and self-pity are
compensatory and "reinforce (his) self-esteem against overwhelming
convictions of worthlessness" (Million, 2000). 

His tribulations and anguish render him, in his eyes, unique, saintly, virtuous, righteous, resilient, and significant. Commonly seen in those who live lives of victimhood and refuse to give up this victim role.

They are, in other words, self-generating their narcissistic supply.

Thus, paradoxically, the worse his anguish and unhappiness, the more
relieved and elated such a narcissist feels!



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