Skip to main content

The Inverted Grandiose Phoney and his Enslavement to his Fake Life and Pride - Have Siblings like that!

 “[Neurotic] pride is both so vulnerable and so precious that it also must be protected in the future. The neurotic may build an elaborate system of avoidances in the hope of circumventing future hurts. This too is a process that goes on automatically. He is not aware of wanting to avoid an activity because it might hurt his pride. He just avoids it, often without even being aware that he is. The process pertains to activities, to associations with people, and it may put a check on realistic strivings and efforts. If it is widespread it can actually cripple a person's life. He does not embark on any serious pursuits commensurate with his gifts lest he fail to be a brilliant success. He would like to write or to paint and does not dare to start. He does not dare to approach girls lest they reject him. [...] He withdraws from social contacts lest he be self-conscious. So, according to his economic status, he either does nothing worthwhile or sticks to a mediocre job and restricts his expenses rigidly. In more than one way he lives beneath his means. In the long run this makes it necessary for him to withdraw farther from others, because he cannot face the fact of lagging behind his age group and therefore shuns comparisons or questions from anybody about his work. In order to endure life he must now entrench himself more firmly in his private fantasy-world. But, since all these measures are more a camouflage than a remedy for his pride, he may start to cultivate his neuroses because the neurosis with a capital N then becomes a precious alibi for the lack of accomplishment.”

Karen Horney, Neurosis and Human Growth: The Struggle Towards Self-Realization

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

NARCISSISTIC PERSONALITY DISORDER - by Dr. Maria Hsia Chang

This is one of the BEST articles on NPD that I have used most extensively over the years. NARCISSISTIC PERSONALITY DISORDER http://www.unr.edu/cla/polisci/famaria_hsia_chang.htm By Dr. Maria Hsia Chang, Professor, Political Science, University of Nevada , Reno mariac@unr.nevada.edu In psychology, personality disorders refer to individual traits that reflect ingrained, inflexible, and maladaptive patterns of behavior that cause discomfort and impair a person’s ability to function--including her relations with friends and family. At least ten distinct personality disorders have been identified, one of which is the narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) that the American Psychological Association (APA) classifies as a “cluster B” disorder. NPD is a highly complex psychological - behavioral syndrome that confounds and baffles those close to the afflicted. Once understood, however, one achieves clarity of vision. Socio-biologists maintain that narcissism is natural f

The Masochistic Avoidant Solution used by Covert N

  Masochistic Avoidant Solution – Embracing the Victim Role The narcissist is always angered by the lack of an adequate narcissistic supply that he has depended on in his life thus far until threatened.   His masochistic N will direct some of this fury inward, punishing himself for  his "failure". This masochistic behavior has the added "benefit" of  forcing the narcissist's closest relationship to assume the role of dismayed  spectators or of persecutors and thus, either way, to pay him the  attention that he craves. Self-administered punishment often manifests as self-handicapping masochism - a narcissistic cop-out.  By undermining his work, his relationships and his efforts, the increasingly fragile narcissist avoids additional criticism and censure (negative supply).  Self- inflicted failure is the narcissist's doing and thus proves that he is the master of his fate. Masochistic narcissists keep finding themselves in self-defeating circum

So why would you go No Contact with the Narcissist

  S o why would you go no contact with the Narcissist you have enabled and have allowed them to exploit you: Everything about them is fake, and nothing is real Everything about them is a façade. They have no integrity It is all performance and no substance It is all manipulation and exploitation and no sincerity Everything is toxicity with no apologies I need to ask the question why does someone who is supposed to love me: lie, cheat, steal, use, abuse,   neglect, ignore, manipulate, triangulate, exploit, disrespect, disregard, discard, abandon, make little to no effort, responds to your pain with indifference, enjoys watching you struggle, enjoy your misery and resent your happiness. Having No Contact - your benefits: free time, more energy, self-respect, healthy boundaries, peace of mind, health and well-being, serenity, more time with decent, adult, well-balanced, mature people who love and cherish you.