Narcissism Exposed

The False SELF – My notes Once formed and functioning, the False Self stifles the growth of the True Self and paralyses it. Henceforth, the True Self is virtually non-existent and plays no role (active or passive) in the conscious life of the narcissist. It is difficult to "resuscitate" it, even with psychotherapy. This substitution is not only a question of alienation, as Horney observed. She said that because the Idealised (=False) Self sets impossible goals to the narcissist, the results are frustration and self hate which grow with every setback or failure. But the constant sadistic judgement, the self-berating, the suicidal ideation emanate from the narcissist's idealised, sadistic, Superego regardless of the existence or functioning of a False Self. There is no conflict between the True Self and the False Self. First, the True Self is much too weak to do battle with the overbearing False. Second, the False Self is adaptive (though maladaptive). It helps the True...

The Narcissist’s  Antisocial Solution The narcissist renounces reality.  To his mind, those who fail to recognize his unbound talents, innate superiority , overarching brilliance, benevolent nature, entitlement, cosmically important mission, perfection, etc.  - do not deserve consideration .  The narcissist's has a natural affinity with the criminal - his lack of empathy and compassion, his deficient social skills,   his disregard for social laws and morals - now erupt and blossom. On the spectrum of Personality D/O, the Narcissist sits next to the Antisocial and Borderline Px/D/O He eventually always becomes a fully fledged antisocial (sociopath or psychopath) as he continues to convince himself of his grandiosity, he specialness.  He develops into his own delusional False Self, now classic hubris which knows no bounds of entitlements.   He ignores the wishes and needs of others, he breaks the law, he violates all rights - natural an...

This was to be my path of Growth and Redemption for my own N Family of Origin What does it mean to be differentiated from your family of origin? In a poorly differentiated family, the pressure for togetherness is strong.  Reduced emotional over-reactivity The differentiated person reacts objectively instead of subjectively. The "button pushing" reactions which typify subjective and emotional over-reaction are less frequent. A differentiated person understands the source of the emotional over-reactions and accepts differences between family members. Resisting the urge to "correct" other family members A differentiated person can accept differences in goals, values and beliefs between family members. There is little need to encourage other family members to be the same. A differentiated person is able to accept different opinions and choices from other people. It is not necessary to triangle a third person into an alliance to "prove the other is wr...

Grandiose false self At the core of the malignant narcissism syndrome is the individual’s creation of a grandiose false self in compensation for his unacceptable real self and as a way to cope with the external world. Like its namesake, the mythic Narcissus fell in love with his reflected image, the self that the narcissist loves is not his true self, but a counterfeit version that is superior and perfect. This is due to the self-loathing that is at the root of pathological narcissism . And so the narcissist rejects his real self and, instead, invests excessive love in an illusion. To call narcissists self-loving, therefore, is something of a misnomer because at the root of their narcissism is actually a kind of self-loathing. The paradox only seems, for it is his real self that the narcissist loathes, and it is his aggrandized and exalted fantasy self with which he is loves. The narcissist’s attachment to his grandiose false self accounts for the first three attributes in the ...

Some Comments and Interpretations Oedipus is the patron saint of philosophers, scientists, poets and artist, of all truth seekers. There are numerous versions of the myth. They vary somewhat but all of them tell of an Oedipus who goes from a status of the prideful hero, master of the city of Thebes to his decent to that of outcast and the cause of everyone’s misfortune. Oedipus was both guilty and innocent. His error was that he became entangled between the different generations. His essential violation was incest, the universal taboo. He was his father’s rival for his Mother’s affection. Familism was everything in Greek culture. Oedipus had done two of the worst possible deeds within Familism: kill the Father and sleep with the Mother. There is more then just the incest taboo involved here. Poor old Oedipus… to solve the riddle of his origins he has to face a truth too awful to bear. Oedipus feels guilty; responsible for the curse that lead to the slaying of his Father ...

What is a personality disorder? [from Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, 4th edition, 1994, commonly referred to as DSM-IV , of the American Psychiatric Association. European countries use the diagnostic criteria of the World Health Organization .] An enduring pattern of inner experience and behavior that deviates markedly from the expectation of the individual's culture, is pervasive and inflexible, has an onset in adolescence or early adulthood, is stable over time, and leads to distress or impairment. A personality disorder is a pattern of deviant or abnormal behavior that the person doesn't change even though it causes emotional upsets and trouble with other people at work and in personal relationships. It is not limited to episodes of mental illness, and it is not caused by drug or alcohol use, head injury, or illness. There are about a dozen different behavior patterns classified as personality disorders by DSM-IV. Al...