Narcissus, the Greek hero after whom
narcissism is named, became obsessed with his own reflection.
The
term narcissism was first used in relation to human psychology
by Sigmund
Freud after the figure of Narcissus in Greek
mythology (right). Narcissus was a handsome Greek youth who rejected the
desperate advances of the nymph Echo. As a punishment, he was doomed to fall in
love with his own reflection in a pool of water. Unable to consummate his love,
Narcissus pined away and changed into the flower that bears his name, the narcissus.
Psychoanalysis
teaches that we are all narcissistic at an early stage of our lives. As infants
and toddlers we all feel that we are the center of the universe, the most
important, omnipotent and omniscient of beings (even though we may also feel
that all or other people share our omnipotence). At that phase of our
development, we perceive our parents as mythical
figures, immortal and awesomely powerful, but existing solely to cater to our
needs, to protect and nourish us. Both the self and others are viewed
immaturely, as idealisations. This, in the psychodynamic
models, is called the phase of "primary" narcissism.
Inevitably,
the inexorable conflicts of life lead to disillusionment.
If this process is abrupt, inconsistent, unpredictable, capricious, arbitrary
and intense, then the injuries sustained by the infant's self-esteem are severe
and often irreversible. Moreover, if the empathic crucial support of our
caretakers (the primary objects,
e.g., the parents) is absent, one's sense of self-worth
and self-esteem
in adulthood tends to fluctuate between over-valuation (idealisation)
and devaluation
of both self and others. Narcissistic adults are widely thought to be the
result of bitter disappointment, of radical disillusionment in the significant
others in their infancy.[citation needed] Healthy
adults realistically accept their self-limitations and successfully cope with
disappointments, setbacks, failures, criticism and disillusionment. Their
self-esteem and sense of self-worth are self-regulated and constant and
positive, not substantially affected by outside events.[citation needed]
Primary
narcissism, in psychology
is a defense mechanism, common in the formative years
(6 months to 6 years old). Its purpose is to shield the infant and toddler from
the inevitable hurt and fears involved in the individuation-separation
phase of personal development.
Other
major psychiatrists and psychological thinkers who contributed to the theory
are Melanie
Klein, Karen Horney, Heinz Kohut,
Otto
F. Kernberg, Theodore Millon, Elsa F. Ronningstam,
John Gunderson, Robert Hare, and Stephen M. Johnson.
Secondary
or pathological narcissism is a pattern of thinking and behaving in adolescence
and adulthood, which involves infatuation and obsession
with one's self to the exclusion of others. It manifests in
the chronic pursuit of personal gratification and attention, in social dominance and personal ambition,
bragging, insensitivity to others, lack of empathy and/or
excessive dependence on others to meet his/her responsibilities in daily living
and thinking. Pathological narcissism is at the core of the narcissistic personality disorder.
Narcissistic regression & the formation of
secondary narcissism
Research
shows that when an individual (at any age) encounters an insurmountable
obstacle to his or her orderly progression from one stage of personal
development to another, he or she regresses to his infantile-narcissistic phase
rather than circumvent the hindrance (Gunderson-Ronningstam, 1996).
While
in regression, the person displays childish, immature behaviors. He feels that
he is omnipotent, and misjudges his power and that of his opposition. He
underestimates challenges facing him and pretends to be "Mr.
Know-All". His sensitivity to the needs and emotions of others and his
ability to empathise with them deteriorate sharply. He becomes intolerably
haughty and arrogant, with sadistic and paranoid tendencies. Above all, he then seeks unconditional
admiration, even when others with more objective views perceive that he does
not deserve it. He is preoccupied with fantastic, magical
thinking and daydreams. In this mode he tends to exploit others, to envy
them, and to be explosive.
The
main function of such reactive and transient secondary narcissism is to
encourage the individual to engage in magical
thinking, to wish the problem away or to enchant it or to tackle and
overcome it from a position of omnipotence.
A personality disorder arises only when repeated
attacks on the obstacle continue to fail — especially if this recurrent failure
happens during the formative stages (0-6 years of age). The contrast between
the fantastic world (temporarily) occupied by the individual and the real world
in which he keeps being frustrated (the grandiosity gap)
is too acute to countenance for long. The dissonance gives rise to the
unconscious "decision" to go on living in the world of fantasy,
grandiosity and entitlement.
[edit]
The dynamics of narcissism
[edit]
Primitive defense mechanisms
Narcissism
is a defense mechanism related to the splitting
defense mechanism. The narcissist fails to regard other people, situations, or
entities (political parties, countries, races, his workplace) as a compound of
good and bad elements. He either idealises his object, or devalues it. Things
are seen in black and white; the object is either all good or all bad. The bad
attributes are always projected, displaced, or otherwise externalised. The good
ones are internalised in order to support the inflated (grandiose)
self-concepts of the narcissist and his grandiose fantasies, as well as to
avoid the pain of deflation and disillusionment.
The
narcissist pursues narcissistic supply (attention, both positive and negative)
and uses it to regulate his, often, fragile and fluctuating sense of
self-worth.
[edit]
The dysfunctional family
[edit]
The issue of separation & individuation
According
to psychodynamic
theories of personal development, parents (primary objects) and, more
specifically, mothers are the first agents of socialisation.
It is through his mother that the child explores the most important questions,
the answers to which will shape his entire life. Later on, she is the subject
of his nascent sexual cravings (if the child is a male) — a diffuse sense of
wanting to merge, physically, as well as spiritually. This object of love is
idealised and internalised and becomes part of our conscience (the superego in the
psychoanalytic model).
Growing
up entails the gradual detachment from the mother and the redirection of the
sexual attraction from her to other, socially appropriate objects. These are
the keys to an independent exploration of the world, to personal autonomy and
to a strong sense of self. If any of these phases is thwarted (sometimes by the
mother herself, who will not "let go") the process of differentiation
or separation-individuation is not successfully completed, autonomy and a
coherent sense of self are not achieved and the person is characterized by
dependence and immaturity.
It is
by no means universally accepted that children go through a phase of separation
from their parents and through the consequent individuation. Scholars like Daniel
Stern, in his book, The Interpersonal World of the Infant (1985), concludes that
children possess selves and are separated from their caregivers from the very
start.
[edit]
Childhood traumas & the development of the
narcissistic personality
Early
childhood abuse and traumas trigger coping strategies and defense mechanisms,
including narcissism. One of the coping strategies is to withdraw inwards, to
seek gratification from a secure, reliable and permanently-available source:
from one's self. The
child, fearful of further rejection and abuse, refrains from further
interaction and resorts to grandiose fantasies of being loved and
self-sufficient. Repeated hurt may lead to the development of a narcissistic personality.
[edit]
Schools of thought
[edit]
Freud versus Jung
Sigmund
Freud (1856-1939) is credited for the first coherent theory of narcissism. He
described transitions from subject-directed libido to
object-directed libido through the intermediation and agency of the parents. To
be healthy and functional, the transitions must be smooth and unperturbed;
otherwise neuroses result. Thus, if a child fails to attract the love and
attention of his or her desired objects (e.g., of his parents), the child
regresses to the narcissistic phase.
The
first occurrence of narcissism is adaptive in that it trains the child to love
an available object (his or her self) and to feel gratified. But regressing
from a later stage to "secondary narcissism" is maladaptive. It is an
indication of failure to direct the libido to the "right" targets (to
objects, such as the child's parents).
If
this pattern of regression persists, a "narcissistic neurosis" is
formed. The narcissist stimulates his self habitually in order to derive
pleasure and gratification. The narcissist prefers fantasy to reality,
grandiose self-conception to realistic appraisal, masturbation
and sexual fantasies to mature adult sex
and daydreaming
to real life achievements.
Carl Jung
(1875-1961) pictured the psyche as a repository of archetypes
(conscious representations of adaptive behaviors). Fantasies are a way of
accessing these archetypes and releasing them. In Jungian psychology,
regressions are compensatory processes intended to enhance adaptation, not
methods of obtaining or securing a steady flow of gratification.
Freud
and Jung also disagree about introversion. Introversion is indispensable to
narcissism, while extroversion is a necessary condition for orienting to a
libidinal object. Freud regards introversion as an instrument in the service of
a pathology. Jung, in contrast, regards introversion as a useful tool in the
service of the endless psychic quest for adaptation strategies (narcissism
being one such strategy)..
Nevertheless,
even Jung acknowledged that the very need for a new adaptation strategy means
that adaptation has failed. So although introversion per se is by definition not
pathological, the use made of it can be pathological.
Jung
distinguished introverts (those who habitually concentrate on their selves
rather than on outside objects) from extroverts (the opposite). Introversion is
considered a normal and natural function in childhood, and remains normal and
natural even if it dominates later mental life. To Jung, pathological
narcissism is a matter of degree: it is exclusive and all-pervasive.
[edit]
Kohut's Approach
Heinz Kohut
said that pathological narcissism is not the result of excessive narcissism,
libido or aggression. It is the result of defective, deformed or incomplete
narcissistic (self) structures. Kohut postulated the existence of core
constructs which he named: the Grandiose
Exhibitionistic Self and the Idealised Parent
Imago. Children entertain notions of greatness (primitive or naïve
grandiosity) mingled with magical thinking, feelings of omnipotence and omniscience
and a belief in their immunity to the consequences of their actions. These
elements and the child's feelings regarding its parents (which are also painted
by it with a brush of omnipotence and grandiosity) — coalesce and form these
constructs.
The child's
feelings towards its parents are reactions to their responses (affirmation,
buffering, modulation or disapproval, punishment, even abuse). Their responses
help maintain the child's self-structures. Without the appropriate responses,
grandiosity, for instance, cannot be transformed into adult ambitions and
ideals.
To
Kohut, grandiosity and idealisation are positive childhood development
mechanisms. Even their reappearance in transference
should not be considered a pathological narcissistic regression.
Kohut
says that narcissism (subject-love) and object-love coexist and interact
throughout life. He agrees with Freud that neuroses are accretions of defence
mechanisms, formations, symptoms, and unconscious conflicts. But he identified
a whole new class of disorders: the self-disorders.
These are the result of the perturbed development of narcissism.
Self
disorders are the results of childhood traumas of either not being
"seen", or of being regarded as an "extension" of the
parents, a mere instrument of gratification. Such children develop to become
adults who are not sure that they do exist (lack a sense of self-continuity) or
that they are worth anything (lack of stable sense of self-worth, or
self-esteem).
[edit]
Karen Horney's contributions
Horney
said that personality was shaped mostly by environmental issues, social or
cultural. Horney believed that people (children) needed to feel secure, to be
loved, protected, emotionally nourished and so on. Horney argued that anxiety
is a primary reaction to the very dependence of the child on adults for his
survival. Children are uncertain (of love, protection, nourishment, nurturance),
so they become anxious.
Defenses
such as narcissism are developed to compensate for the intolerable and gradual
realisation that adults are merely human: capricious, unfair, unpredictable,
non-dependable. Defenses provide both satisfaction and a sense of security.
[edit]
Otto Kernberg
Otto
Kernberg (1975, 1984, 1987) is a senior member of the Object
Relations school in Psychology (comprising also Kohut, Klein, and
Winnicott).
Kernberg
regards as artificial the division between Object Libido (energy directed at
people) and Narcissistic Libido (energy directed at the self). Whether the
child develops a normal or a pathological form of narcissism depends on the
relations between the representations of the self (the image of the self that
the child forms in his or her mind) and the representations of objects (the
images of other people that the child forms in his or her mind). It is also
dependent on the relationship between the representations of the self and real
objects. The development of pathological narcissism is also determined by
instinctual conflicts related both to the libido and to aggression.
Kernberg's
concept of Self is
closely related to Freud's concept of Ego. The Self is dependent upon the unconscious, which exerts a
constant influence on all mental functions. Pathological narcissism, therefore,
reflects a libidinal investment in a pathologically structured Self and not in
a normal, integrative structure of the Self. The narcissist suffers from a
Self, which is devalued or fixated on aggression.
All
object relations of such a pathological Self are detached from the real objects
(because they often cause hurt and narcissistic injury)
and involve dissociation, repression, or projection
onto other objects. Narcissism is not merely a fixation on an early
developmental stage. It is not confined to the failure to develop intra-psychic
structures. It is an active, libidinal investment in a deformed structure of
the Self.
[edit]
The Narcissist & his family
[edit]
An integrative framework
"For
very young children, self-esteem is probably best thought to consist of deep
feelings of being loved, accepted, and valued by significant others rather than
of feelings derived from evaluating oneself against some external criteria, as
in the case of older children. Indeed, the only criterion appropriate for
accepting and loving a newborn or infant is that he or she has been born. The
unconditional love and acceptance experienced in the first year or two of life
lay the foundation for later self-esteem, and probably make it possible for the
preschooler and older child to withstand occasional criticism and negative
evaluations that usually accompany socialisation into the larger community.
As
children grow beyond the preschool years, the larger society imposes criteria
and conditions upon love and acceptance. If the very early feelings of love and
acceptance are deep enough, the child can most likely weather the rebuffs and
scoldings of the later years without undue debilitation.
With
increasing age, however, children begin to internalize criteria of self-worth
and a sense of the standards to be attained on the criteria from the larger
community they observe and in which they are beginning to participate. The
issue of criteria of self-esteem is examined more closely below.
Cassidy's
(1988) study of the relationship between self-esteem at age five and six years
and the quality of early mother-child attachment supports Bowlby's theory that
construction of the self is derived from early daily experience with attachment
figures. The results of the study support Bowlby's conception of the process
through which continuity in development occurs, and of the way early
child-mother attachment continues to influence the child's conception and
estimation of the self across many years. The working models of the self
derived from early mother-child inter-action organise and help mold the child's
environment "by seeking particular kinds of people and by eliciting
particular behavior from them" (Cassidy, 1988, p.133). Cassidy points out
that very young children have few means of learning about themselves other than
through experience with attachment figures.
She
suggests that if infants are valued and given comfort when required, they come
to feel valuable; conversely, if they are neglected or rejected, they come to
feel worthless and of little value.
In an
examination of developmental considerations, Bednar, Wells, and Peterson (1989)
suggest that feelings of competence and the self-esteem associated with them
are enhanced in children when their parents provide an optimum mixture of
acceptance, affection, rational limits and controls, and high expectations. In
a similar way, teachers are likely to engender positive feelings when they
provide such a combination of acceptance, limits, and meaningful and realistic
expectations concerning behavior and effort (Lamborn et al., 1991). Similarly,
teachers can provide contexts for such an optimum mixture of acceptance,
limits, and meaningful effort in the course of project work as described by
Katz and Chard (1989)." (Distinctions between Self-Esteem and Narcissism:
Implications for Practice - ERIC database)
Kohut,
as we said, regarded Narcissism as the final product of the failing efforts of
parents to cope with the needs of the child to idealise and to be grandiose
(for instance, to be omnipotent).
Idealisation
is an important developmental path leading to Narcissism.
The
child merges the idealised aspects of the images of the parent (Imago in
Kohut's terminology) with those parts of the image of the parent which are
cathected (infused) with object libido (=in which the child invests the energy
that he reserves to Objects). This exerts a great and important influence on
the re-internalisation processes (=the processes in which the child
re-introduced the Objects and their images into his mind) which are right for
each of the successive phases.
Through
these processes, two permanent nuclei of the personality are constructed:
- The basic, neutralizing texture of
the psyche
- The ideal Superego
Both
of them are characterized by an invested instinctual Narcissistic cathexis
(=invested energy of self-love which is instinctual in its nature).
At
first, the child idealises his parents. As he grows, he begins to notice their
shortcomings and vices. He withdraws part of the idealising libido from the
images of the parents, which is conducive to the natural development of the
Superego. The Narcissistic sector in the child's psyche remains vulnerable
throughout its development. This is largely true until the Child
re-internalises the ideal parent image.
Also,
the very construction of the mental apparatus can be tampered with by traumatic
deficiencies and by object losses right through the Oedipal period (and even in
latency and in adolescence).
The
same effect can be attributed to traumatic disappointment by objects.
[edit]
Disturbances in childhood
Disturbances
leading to the formation of NPD can be grouped thus:
[edit]
Very early disturbances in the relationship with
an ideal object
These
lead to structural weakness of the personality which develops a deficient
and/or dysfunctional stimuli filtering mechanism. The ability of the individual
to maintain a basic Narcissistic homeostasis of the personality is damaged.
Such a
person will suffer from diffusive narcissistic vulnerability.
[edit]
A disturbance occurring later in life - but still
pre-Oedipally
This
will effect the pre-Oedipal formation of the basic fabric of the control,
channeling and neutralising of drives and urges. The nature of the disturbance
has to be a traumatic encounter with the ideal object (such as a major
disappointment). The symptomatic manifestation of this structural defect is the
propensity to re-sexualise drive derivatives and internal and external
conflicts either in the form of fantasies or in the form of deviant acts,
'acting out.'
[edit]
A disturbance formed in the Oedipal or even in the
early latent phases
This
inhibits the completion of the Superego idealisation. This is especially true
of a disappointment related to an ideal object of the late Pre-Oedipal and the
Oedipal stages, where the partly idealised external parallel of the newly
internalised object is traumatically destroyed.
Such a
person will possess a set of values and standards - but he will forever look
for ideal external figures from whom he will aspire to derive the affirmation
and the leadership that his insufficiently idealised Superego cannot supply.
Everyone
in the field agrees that a loss (real or perceived) at a critical junction in
the psychological development of the Child - forces him to refer to himself for
nurturing and for gratification. The Child ceases to trust others and his
ability to develop object love or to idealize is hampered. He is constantly shadowed
by the feeling that only he can satisfy his emotional needs and his regards.
[edit]
The dysfunctional family
Families
that provide the circumstances conducive to the development of harmful
narcissistic behaviors might express reclusive and autarchic tendencies,
actively rejecting or encouraging the rejection of social contacts.
This
could lead to defective or partial socialisation and possibly to problems with
sexual identity.
This
attitude is sometimes applied even to other members of the extended family. The
nuclear family feels emotionally or financially deprived or threatened by them.
It may react with envy, rejection, self-isolation or rage.
Constant
aggression and violence may become features of such families.
The
violence could be verbal (degradation, humiliation), or constitute severe cases
of psychological, physical or sexual abuse.
[edit]
The narcissistic view of relationships
Some
Narcissists react by creatively escaping into rich, imagined worlds in which
they exercise total physical and emotional control over their environment. But
all of them react by diverting libido, which should have been object-oriented
to their own Self.
The
source of all the Narcissist's problems is the foreboding sensation that human
relationships invariably end in humiliation, betrayal and abandonment.
This
belief is embedded in them during their very early childhood by their parents
and by their experiences with peers.
But
the Narcissist always generalises. To him, any emotional interaction and any
interaction with an emotional component is bound to end this way.
Getting
attached to a place, a job, an asset, an idea, an initiative, a business, or a
pleasure is bound to end as badly as getting attached to a human being. This is
why the Narcissist avoids intimacy, real friendships, love, other emotions,
commitment, attachment, dedication, perseverance, planning, emotional or other
investment. Narcissists are unable to empathize and have little morale or
conscience (which are only meaningful if there is a future to consider). They
never develop a sense of security, or pleasure.
The
Narcissist emotionally invests only in things which he feels that he is in
full, unmitigated control of: himself and, at times, not even that.
[edit]
The narcissistic view of gender
Gender
narcissism is a relatively modern concept although its origins stretch back
to Freud and infantile sexuality. Dr. Schoenwolf postulates that feminism is
borne out from the negative ideas about gender within a narcissist context.
[edit]
Narcissus in the arts
The
parable of Narcissus has been a rich vein for artists to mine for at least two
thousand years, beginning with the Roman
poet Ovid (book III of Metamorphoses), followed in more recent
centuries by other poets (Keats), and painters (Caravaggio, Poussin,
Turner,
Dalí,
and Waterhouse). In Stendhal's
novel Le Rouge et le Noir (1830), there is a classic narcissist in the character of
Mathilde. Says Prince Korasoff to Julien Sorel, the protagonist, with respect
to his beloved:
She
looks at herself instead of looking at you, and so doesn't know you. During the
two or three little outbursts of passion she has allowed herself in your favor,
she has, by a great effort of imagination, seen in you the hero of her dreams,
and not yourself as you really are. (Page 401, 1953 Penguin Edition, trans.
Margaret R.B. Shaw)
[edit]
Symbolism
The Narcissus flowers blossom early in the spring
and is often found in damp soil near to a pond. It is a self-sufficient,
fertile but stagnant environment. The flower is usually of six white vesica-shaped
radiating petals with a central yellow funnel containing the stamen and the
stigma. It has a firm and upright stalk. In Islam the Hadith of
Bukhari associates the flower with the upright and righteous man.(please
provide citation) The symbol has also been likened to the transformation of
vanity and self-centeredness into the humility of a more individuated and
spiritual self.
[edit]
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